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Spam messages are annoying, and the Call of Cthulhu discussion area seems particularly vulnerable to them. We've seen ads for kitchen remodeling, peace of mind courses, fancy cookware, acid reflux cures, and most recently a solution for all your office paperwork needs. On the other hand, the topic headings for these spam messages are almost always wonderful adventure fodder: off-the-wall, think-outside-the-box concepts for a Lovecraftian campaign, getting a tired GM away from the standard "You inherit a creepy old house in the middle of nowhere." So let's run with this one. What can we do with the adventure/monograph title "Consolidate the Postman"? Postmen have an interesting history in popular literature and culture. We've got the noir classic "The Postman Always Rings Twice" about an adulterous wife. We've got the sci-fi epic "The Postman" about the rebirth of civilization after a societal breakdown. We've got the whole postal system established by that 18th century genius and busybody Benjamin Franklin (and everyone knows it is all about the Benjamins). We've got countless horse operas about that most famous of mail runs, The Pony Express, where unmarried orphans were encouraged to apply. We've got Edgar Allan Poe's "The Purloined Letter." Now we've got the Cthulhu universe confronting your (supposedly) friendly and helpful local letter carrier. What does that mean to those brave individuals facing weather, dogs, unsavory delivery locations, sinister residents, long hours, federal budget cuts? How much can they take before they "go postal"? What does that mean to your average householder, confronted at his door by a stranger with a package or letter from God only knows who? Dare he look inside? What is involved in "consolidating" a federal employee, and what is the end result? It looks like a job for Superman, but unfortunately Delta Green will probably get the assignment instead. Go for it, and don't forget to include appropriate postage and ZIP code.