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Scenario seed: Considate the Postman


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Spam messages are annoying, and the Call of Cthulhu discussion area seems particularly vulnerable to them.  We've seen ads for kitchen remodeling, peace of mind courses, fancy cookware, acid reflux cures, and most recently a solution for all your office paperwork needs.  On the other hand, the topic headings for these spam messages are almost always wonderful adventure fodder:  off-the-wall, think-outside-the-box concepts for a Lovecraftian campaign, getting a tired GM away from the standard "You inherit a creepy old house in the middle of nowhere."  So let's run with this one.

 

What can we do with the adventure/monograph title "Consolidate the Postman"?  Postmen have an interesting history in popular literature and culture.  We've got the noir classic "The Postman Always Rings Twice" about an adulterous wife.  We've got the sci-fi epic "The Postman" about the rebirth of civilization after a societal breakdown.  We've got the whole postal system established by that 18th century genius and busybody Benjamin Franklin (and everyone knows it is all about the Benjamins).  We've got countless horse operas about that most famous of mail runs, The Pony Express, where unmarried orphans were encouraged to apply.  We've got Edgar Allan Poe's "The Purloined Letter."

 

Now we've got the Cthulhu universe confronting your (supposedly) friendly and helpful local letter carrier.  What does that mean to those brave individuals facing weather, dogs, unsavory delivery locations, sinister residents, long hours, federal budget cuts?  How much can they take before they "go postal"?  What does that mean to your average householder, confronted at his door by a stranger with a package or letter from God only knows who?  Dare he look inside?  What is involved in "consolidating" a federal employee, and what is the end result?  It looks like a job for Superman, but unfortunately Delta Green will probably get the assignment instead.

 

Go for it, and don't forget to include appropriate postage and ZIP code.

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In Thomas Pynchon's  satirical novel  'The Crying of Lot 49'  there is a sinister, alternate mail system called the Trystero ,a kind of postal service for the  Illuminati.  

 

 

If you wanted to play a very literary and somewhat Pythonesque  game you could use this strange cabal.

 

In a digital era updating the bizarre spam that  regularly shows up could actually be coded messages directing  agents, or, perhaps even spells.

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The very fact that "Going Postal" means madness implies that the whole Postal network causes SAN loss.

 

Maybe wearing shorts is one of the causes.

 

Maybe if you map out all the postal routes then you get some awful sigil or complex multi-dimensional knot. 

 

Is there a difference between posting into mailboxes at the end of the property and letter boxes in doors?

 

Who knows? We all know who cares - Nobody, which is another reason for the inherent madness of the postal service.

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explode szamba betonowe?

 

More grist for the mill.  The post goes on and on about purification by water, the unshrouded house of god and being right-minded, all in an apparent effort to please The Intelligence.  Sounds like a religious, if not Lovecraftian, message to me.  All hail the Purified Intelligence!

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Ever gotten a package addressed to someone else?  Every been tempted to open it?  Strange that this package is postmarked from a decade or more in the past... or is it a future date?  Who might come looking for this package?

A strange package from sometime else.  Creepy. :)

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My wife just bought some new cabinets and they look nice but the bras knobs look like elders signs for some reason.

The box state the cabinets where Made in Leng and if I fill out the warranty card I can win a trip there that includes a special meal with me and my family.

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