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Goldfang's grotto


Noita

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9 hours ago, M Helsdon said:

Albert Bacon Pratt’s Helmet Gun... Didn't catch on...

helmetgun.jpg

Of course it didn't!!!  With a piffling neck of Human proportions, shooting risks whiplash at the least... and very likely a broken neck!  It'd take Mostali necks (or a Great Troll... if the Mostali would be willing to share with the Uz...) .

For it to work with a mere Human, you'd have to orient the gun in line with the spine:  the barrel would have to replace the spike.

 

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3 minutes ago, Iskallor said:

So Goldfang's is also where you go to buy a Wildday's night special...

Under the counter, hot, numbers filed off Mostali pistols. From the Gimp, the Mostali barman.

Discreet Mostali mercenary service - the gun (there is probably only one) comes for hire, never for sale, with a technician to service and fire it. Anyone else handling it will be shot, and will be held accountable for the ammunition expenses. The technician might be a nilmerg, might be something higher up in the Mostali hierarchy. (It is quite possible that the gun is an autonomous piece of engineering like a nilmerg or a jolanti, and this arrangement with the technician could be a parallel to the Axe and its trollkin feet, from the Munchrooms scenario in Troll Pak. Reminiscent of the "gonne" in Ankh Morpork, too.)

Did we specify the Gimp's caste? Might be junior level gold, tin or quicksilver, depending on which part of the bartender service is his speciality - talking to customers, serving liquid food, or distilling it. (Or does he have nilmergs with him to do those tasks that aren't pertinent to his caste?)

 

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Telling how it is excessive verbis

 

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Suggestion about the entertainment value of the gun, or alternatively a modified crossbow - there is a regular toughness competition, which may be called up whenever the boasts about people being oh so tough get out of hand. Old hands in the bar will do their best to egg new faces on to get to this point.

The spurious boaster(s) will be placed on the dais and receive a series of shots from the gun - starting with easy stuff, like condensed cotton, shreds of leather, or salt. It is up to the boaster which body part they will expose to the gun, only natural armor allowed. The ammunition works its way up from salt - wooden splinters, porcupine or cactus needles, lead filings (first cold, later heated), bolgs... The technician will adjust the loads of the explosive (or the draw strength of the crossbow) to avoid lethal wounds.

The only first aid offered by the provider of the instrument is a wash with a badly stinging bleach to avoid infection, adding to the pain if not to the injury.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would ask a Gorakiki Beetle shaman to provide me with one of these - in XXL size.

(good video but abominal voice over - better watch with sound off.)

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A source of amusement for regulars is the cast bronze statuette of a baboon looking over his shoulder. Regulars can get preferential service by activating the internal bell with a fairly obvious lever in its hindquarters, however they do not let out that this works only if you also press on the rear left foot at the same time, otherwise a measure of mustard is dispensed on the unsuspecting operator's finger. 

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"Duke of the Fields" Claudio Willms, a notorious drunk who claims variously to be of Sartar or Lunar (or occasionally Esrolian) nobilities.  He criticises, in a broad drawling voice, all three nations with equally acerbic venom; also Pavis, the nomads of Prax, the denizens of the Grotto, the Mostali, the Uz, and anyone else he happens to mention.

Only someone who recently and/or regularly serves him liquor is free from his invective.

N.B.  Claudio Willms, "Duke of the Fields,"  is actually based upon the drunken misanthrope persona invented by "W.C. Fields" -- William Claude Dukenfield.

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  • 11 months later...

Cylliwinn Kortha is a charming, urbane, handsome and virile semi-regular patron of Goldfang's Grotto who is originally from far-off Furthest. He is a clerk and sub-factotum for a lunar merchant of the Patroma family. He has his own modest home in Pavis. He visits the Grotto and quickly makes friends with any non-threatening looking customers who seem to his practiced eyes like easy marks, who would not be missed and who are alone or in very small groups. Cylliwinn will befriend such targets, ply them with drinks, let them stumble out of the bar unaccompanied and then leave quickly after to shadow them. If circumstances are all in order he will either kill or disable them, rob them of their valuables and put them in his larder for gradual consumption. He especially fancies slightly over-weight types who have had a more sedentary lifestyle as their meat is more marbled and tender. If he captures a food source alive, then an extensive programme of torture will be followed to render the meat more tasty to his peculiar pallet. Above all Cylliwinn is an opportunistic predator and will avoid unnecessary risks.

He likes the ladies too. So if he can get a night's entertainment and meat for his larder in the mix, he'll bite (metaphorically speaking). Again he will be careful to not be seen leaving with his prospective dalliance and will make all sorts of creative and believable excuses for a discrete rendezvous soon after the departure. What will likely follow is profoundly disturbing and I will spare you all the grisly details. 

He will always carefully check from the shadows by the entry way for Stormbull or Uroxi patrons before entering and mingling in Goldfang's. If they are present then he leaves immediately.

Cheers.

Evilroddy.

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9 hours ago, Evilroddy said:

Cylliwinn Kortha is a charming, urbane, handsome and virile semi-regular patron of Goldfang's Grotto who is originally from far-off Furthest. He is a clerk and sub-factotum for a lunar merchant of the Patroma family. He has his own modest home in Pavis. He visits the Grotto and quickly makes friends with any non-threatening looking customers who seem to his practiced eyes like easy marks, who would not be missed and who are alone or in very small groups.

Then this petite redhead with a lot of new equipment walks in, all alone ...

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On 4/21/2018 at 11:04 PM, Evilroddy said:

Interesting thread so far. But how extravagant and decadent can a 5,000 soul town in a semi-arid backwater be?

Cheers.

Evilroddy.

Except it's not.

A "backwater" that is.

Sure, there are parts of it that seem like it; but also remember it's a major draw to adventurers, the primary focus in Prax for the urbanicentric Lunars, and a mercantile trading-center for all of Prax and for serving the needs of the aforementioned invaders.

Which gives LOTS of scope for extravagance and decadence!

YGMV

Edited by g33k

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