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Page 643 - Eye of Light and Darkness

Description of this spell no longer mentions "Once activated, the symbol disappears within the substance into which it has been etched, chiseled, or otherwise physically inscribed, and cannot then be removed by any physical agent or by any ordinary magical means."

I'm not sure if this is an update or an oversight (no pun intended), but I did like the idea that ordinary people are unable to see the activated Eye.

Edited by Dr Mobius

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Page 635 - Hands of Colubra

This description differs from the Grand Grimoire in the distance that the transformed snakes can reach, and more importantly, omits the phrase "if the target fails to make an Extreme CON roll".

Edited by Dr Mobius
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page 641 - Life As A God

"English, by MontgomeryCrompton, c.1810. Duodecimo, handwritten, bound in human skin."

Missing a space between the author's first and last names.

Edited by Dr Mobius

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Page 644 - The Black Tome

Under Spells, Go Beyond (Journey to the Other Side**) is marked with two asterisks indicating the description is only available in the Grand Grimoire. However this spell is described in the previous appendix.

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Well, that seems to be it for me. I'm quite sure I didn't hit every spelling or grammar mistake, but I tried to get the obvious errors that might cause confusion while running the campaign.

This was a wonderful update to a fantastic adventure. Great job in bringing it up to 7th edition.

 

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I have a little more already proofed but not posted. Are we out of time? If not, I'll at least try to wrap Shanghai.

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On 8/28/2018 at 10:10 PM, Dr Mobius said:

Well, that seems to be it for me. I'm quite sure I didn't hit every spelling or grammar mistake, but I tried to get the obvious errors that might cause confusion while running the campaign.

This was a wonderful update to a fantastic adventure. Great job in bringing it up to 7th edition.

 

You did a great job, Doc. I'm impressed by how many and what type of issues you caught.

Agreed, it's a fantastic revision of the classic. I'll run the Peru chapter (and "The God of Mitnal" from the Companion) at a little convention in October in anticipating of launching the entire campaign early next year. Maybe this time we'll make it to the end!

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Here's the Shanghai business I was working on before I had to set it aside for a deadline. You'll note a few gaps as I skipped around, but I hope it's useful if there's still time to incorporate it.
 

Page 519

Not the Lovecraft quote, but the precis below it: omit the comma after “against evil.”

In the sidebar, omit the comma after “1920s period.”

At the end of the first graph, the use of a semicolon rather than a comma to introduce “deep one hybrids” should be a comma.

As an aside, too many parenthetical notes can cause speedbumps rather than aids to reading. Generally, I would suggest you use them more sparingly.

Page 520

In the first graph, omit the comma after “September 1924.”

Demote the semicolon to a comma after “Carlyle Expedition dead.”

Change “which” to “that” after “a fact.”

In the second graph, either omit the comma after “sanitarium” or add “he” before “strenuously.”

Speaking of “strenuously,” it seems an odd adverb to apply to “avoids.” Perhaps “strictly” or “conscientiously” would be more appropriate.

Column 2, graph 3, change “towards” to “toward.”

In the next graph, revise the punctuation: “One final if difficult-to-decipher clue could lead…”

After The Carlyle Expedition in Shanghai, omit the comma after “Gray Dragon Island.”

Add a comma after “Great Race in Australia.”

Page 521

Love the maps. The old ones were fine, but these are lovely.

Page 522

Graph 3, omit the comma after “error of some sort).”

Page 523

In the last graph, add a comma after “Australian Oriental Line’s ships.”

Page 524

In graph one, add a comma after “i.e.”

Remove the comma after “although” in “although, kind Keepers.”

Next graph, change “realms of possibility” to “realm of possibility.”

Next graph, change “which had ruled” to “that had ruled.”

Page 525

First graph, move the modifiers: “...could be tried only under…” “…whether or not their crimes were committed in the concessions.”

Under The People, please change that “etc.” to “and so on.”

In the last graph of column 1, please revise that first sentence for clarity by keeping the such/that clause tight: “As a result of several disastrous wars with foreign powers, the collapse of the Ching (Qing) Dynasty, and the rise of the warlords, China’s economy by the 1920s was in such ruin that foreigners of even moderate income could afford opulent possessions and princely living conditions.

 

Page 526

 

First graph, hyphenate “sought-after.”

In the Green Gang sidebar, second graph, move the modifier: “…the Green Gang could make either a valuable ally…”

Under The Political Climate, first graph, add a word: “Now that the war is over, renewed…”

In the second column, first graph, add a third period to the ellipsis and omit the full stop after “Where is…?”

In the next graph, change “at an absolute pinch” to “in a pinch” to make it more idiomatic to North American usage.

The rest of that sentence has a distant pronoun, so I’d suggest revising the final phrase: “…to convey the intended message.”

Page 530

In the Compradors sidebar, change “amongst” to “among.”

Same graph, hyphenate “number-one.”

In the second graph, omit the comma after “humble comprador.”

In the second graph under Li Wen-Cheng, omit the comma after “without family.”

Under Weather, omit the comma after “wettest time of year.”

Page 531

First graph, omit a comma and the word “equipped” after “female humanoid.”

Second column, first graph, rather than “miss words out” you might want the more idiomatic “leave words out.”

In the following graph, enclose “quite literally” in parentheses to complete the parallel joke established in the previous parentheses.

Page 532

The line return after Isoge Taro, 34, looks peculiar. Consider leaving at least “undercover agent” on that first line before the return.

In the first graph, omit the comma after “last two months undercover” or else add “he” before “has recruited.”

In the fourth graph, omit the word “themselves” to avoid an unnecessary nouns-pronoun disagreement.

Page 533

In the first full graph under Lin Yenyu, demote the semicolon after “share their secrets to a comma” or change it to an em-dash. Alternatively, revise the phrase after the semicolon to an independent clause.

 

XXX

Page 622

Under EXTENDING THE CAMPAIGN, change the question mark to a full stop after “Perhaps the story continues.”

“Put paid” is an unfamiliar expression to most North American readers.

Final graph, omit the comma after “in his lifetime.”

Likewise after “an old man.”

Page 623

Under Revenge Most Foul, lowercase “high priest” after the colon.

 

XXX

Page 648

Column 2, graph 2, omit the comma after “rituals of the Order of the Bloated Woman.”

 

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Thanks everyone. I enjoyed reading through it.

I should add that a lot of things that I caught were a part of the original text from the first edition back in the 80s, and were just never spotted/corrected in the subsequent editions throughout the years (I tended to read this new edition side-by-side with the earlier ones to notice what had been changed/updated). I can totally see how the current team would miss these types of errors being focused on updating old material, adding new material, and providing new layouts. This is a huge magnum opus here!

Having access to pdfs in advance of the print runs just wasn't a thing back in the day, so it's great that we can make use of this technology now and have so many helpful eyes on board. Thanks for providing this forum to submit corrections!

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On Page 106 "CULT IN RESIDENCE: CULT OF THE BLOODY TONGUE (NYC)"

"... a set of brackets formed around some sort of flower motif...investigators may recognize it as nearly the same as the tattoo on August Larkin’s chest..."

But on the picture of Larkin (on page 59) the partial visible tattoo doesn't fit the description (of page 106).

Am I wrong?

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