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The Necropolis - is Sascha Karner’s journal excerpt written correctly?


KarlF

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I just ran The Necropolis at Wellygeddon and had a couple of young native german speakers in the group. After the session they said that the journal language was incorrect and proceeded to spend a significant amount of time debating and then "editing" my copy. I have attached a scan of it in case anyone is interested.

So I suppose one question is did Leigh Carr/Chaosium get this written by a german speaker/translator or was Google Translate (or similar) used? I know from experience with the latter - which I used for a few expressions in one of my scenarios (and these were also called out by a native german speaker) - that while it might be correct "literally" it is not necessarily how someone would actually say it.

BTW we gave them a prize for their commitment

The Necropolis - journal.pdf

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Basically a good text. Some small mistakes:

"Heute war es herrlich."

"Gefahr laufen" instead of "gefahr laufen"

"was wir bisher erfahren haben ", not "gelernt" (we Germans don't learn something (except in school), we get to know something)

"Ich habe vor ein paar Stunden zu warten, in der Hoffnung, dass sie verschwunden sind." (not gegangen).

The text is supposed to be from 1919, so it should be "daß" (ß = Sz) instead of the modern "dass".

 

"Ich werde etwas Schmuck sammeln und dann fliehen" - Not wrong per se, but I guess, since the writer is going to grab stuff and run, he would have written:

"Ich werde etwas Schmuck zusammensuchen und dann zu fliehen versuchen." He is not "collecting" jewelry, he is deciding what is most valuable and then trying to make a run for it, I suppose.

 

But all in all no bad mistakes.

Edited by Der Rote Baron
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19 hours ago, Der Rote Baron said:

Please note that I did correct one of the handwritten "corrections" of my fellow Germans.

I am a GERMAN and a TEACHER.

A horrible, gruesome and terrifying combination when it comes to correcting other people's mistakes ... 😈

And thank you very much Mr German Teacher, most appreciated!

I think it is worth noting whenever we create a scenario with text not in our native language - be it from Google Translate or other source - that we have done so and (perhaps) apologise for any errors and (especially) culturally inappropriate results.

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There is no need for any apology. All mistakes a extremely minor. I see worse in any homework or class test I have to correct, even in finishing classes.

And as long someone does not goes out of his way to insult or ridicule someone's else's culture etc. everybody should stay calm and just assume: An honest and innocent mistake.

But as I said: Very minor, stylistic errors. Just wanted to make a good text better.

Edited by Der Rote Baron
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