Help Me With My CoC Original Scenario! The Tindalos Murders

[Master Fwiffo]

I'm doing something I swore I'd never do - I'm writing a scenario that I'm hoping to run this Sunday (stupid!), and I'm looking for some feedback.  This is a rough draft of the entire Scenario - I think it's playable (though I still have to write the Hand-Outs (though all the information is in there) and collect the Stats together), and at the moment I don't care about formatting,  so mostly right now I'm looking for general reviews - does the Scenario Make Sense?  Are there any pitfalls that can trip up the Investigation that I missed?  Is the method too hackneyed?  Is the plot too out there (for Call of Cthulhu, you kidding?)  Does it look completely unfun?  Ect. Ect.  And of course, if you like it, feel free to use it and so on.  Anyway, without further ado, THE TINDALOS MURDERS.

Also, I may not like the title since it gives the monster away.  Maybe THE MURDERS OUT OF TIME.

 

 

Tindalos Murders Draft.pdf

Edited August 11, 2017 by Master Fwiffo

[Master Fwiffo]

I updated the PDF, it now includes drafts of the Handouts.

[Master Fwiffo]

So I've now run this sucker!

Overall, it was pretty successful.  The players may have been a tad too frustrated by the lack of leads until the second murder, and once that happened they were very eager to get to the address, and bipassed researching the actual murderer entirely (so they had no conception they were dealing with a switched mind until they met him). I think I can fix that by having them find shred of the first envelope which just contains the name of the murderer.  After all, no official records (except the jewelers) have his current address.  It also gives them more to do after the first murder, as most the other leads provide information, but no real leads.  I had been worried the murder scheme would seem to hokey, but they bought it without question.

Their only other complaint was partially my storytelling style - too many red herrings!  Because they were so starved for real clues, they pounced on all the stuff I added as just as flavor - for example, during the interview with the fishermen, I mentioned they were out fishing "near the abandoned Island in the Miskatonic, where chants can be heard on certain nights" and "you could see the humps of a large creature in the deep waters of the river" - all just added to make it seem creepier, but they were like "LETS GO TO THE ISLAND" which would have wasted too much time....  So, maybe a few too many red herrings.

 

But overall, everyone had a good time, and the climatic final battle against the Hound while they're trying to get the Lightning Gun to hit was very fun and very memorable (Investigators immortal last words: "I'm going to try something crazy!).

 

I'd love to get your guys feedback on this adventure on how I can further improve it!

Edited August 15, 2017 by Master Fwiffo

[joggiwagga]

Just saw this today, will look it over and give feedback (at work now so really shouldn't right this minute).  If you get it to a place you like it, and feel like sharing, I believe they're always encouraging folks to add scenarios to the Chaos Library

[joggiwagga]

Speaking from experience as a GM (tabletop and LARP) as well as someone who runs Escape Rooms, yes, it's good to be careful of including Red Herrings.  Even if you include no red herrings the players will manage to find/create them.

[g33k]

I like to include ONE red herring by default in any mystery/investigation scenario if the timeslot is over 4 hours.  As per advise of @joggiwagga I would be concerned about too much time off-track if it were a shorter slot.

However, I *strongly* advise having either a few short combats or a red-herring "on tap," that you can drop into the scenario almost anywhere, in case the players manage via skill or luck to "solve" things super-fast and are about to finish your scenario in less-than-half the alotted time...

[joggiwagga]

Players: "We're going to explore [thing]"

Me: "Why would you even think that has any relation to the story?  Did you really just waste an hour with that PC without touching on any of the many hints I have been continually dropping, and instead discussed [most mundane thing ever]?"

[g33k]

22 hours ago, joggiwagga said:

Players: "We're going to explore [thing]"

Me: "Why would you even think that has any relation to the story?  Did you really just waste an hour with that PC without touching on any of the many hints I have been continually dropping, and instead discussed [most mundane thing ever]?"

Yeah, I've seen it; as a player, I've even DONE it   .   Sometimes, some random tidbit just grabs the fancy of a group (or a single persuasive player).

Extra hints, up to and including slap-in-the-face-obvious, are sometimes needed!

 

One other option -- if the GM is good at improv -- is to make their error become The Right Answer; if they think the BBG is the librarian when your prep had the mayor... well, they don't actually KNOW and you can change it.  BOOM, that hour isn't wasted after all...

[joggiwagga]

OK.  Read it over.  Looks like a fun little romp, some minor typos.

My notes:

When does this game take place?  Modern Era or Gaslamp?  I at first thought that "The Speakeasy" was a bar name, then later saw "speakeasy" with a lowercase first letter and realized it might be 1920s.  I'm guessing its overall 1920s?

The timelines for seeing the body at the site of the death don't work.  The body likely wouldn't be left there for the day or two after discovery for non-police Investigators to learn about it from the papers.  It'd be carted off to a morgue.  Option - the players could have some connection to the "first" victim and be present for the wellness check?  Otherwise, the split in time for people to arrive would be too great if some were cops and some weren't.

An option to keep the bar hint would be to lead to a meeting of academics with special projects?  That could be an early link to some of the other Professors.  Think Chekov's gun.  Could optionally be a Teacher's Lounge or Gentleman's Club (the non-stripclub type).

I feel it's a little optimistic, unless it's heavily stressed, that players will make the math regarding murder rates.  But maybe I have highly distracted players.

For the bit about Alek being neither evil nor insane, I'd drop something about operating on a different, and inhuman, morality.  Otherwise his lack of contrition or regret about killing people is going to seem contrary.

For the Conclusion option where they sacrifice Alek - what is keeping him within the body?  As a Yithian, can't he just leave the body to be murdered and jump again?  I mean, that'd be a fun ending it itself, but one contrary to the narrative option given, so I figured I'd ask.

[Master Fwiffo]

Good advice Joggiwa!  It is 1920s though I left the exact year up to the keeper, though keeping in line with the Hounds of Tindalos base story, it would be late 29 to early 30.

As for the ending, if I remember correctly Yithians use some sort of machinery to transfer minds - according to the original story, the Yithian inhabiting Peasely built the device before he reversed his mind-swap.  With his original body dead his mind has nowhere else to go.

[joggiwagga]

On 8/29/2017 at 6:53 PM, Master Fwiffo said:

Good advice Joggiwa!  It is 1920s though I left the exact year up to the keeper, though keeping in line with the Hounds of Tindalos base story, it would be late 29 to early 30.

As for the ending, if I remember correctly Yithians use some sort of machinery to transfer minds - according to the original story, the Yithian inhabiting Peasely built the device before he reversed his mind-swap.  With his original body dead his mind has nowhere else to go.

It might be worth a setting note indicating era if you're intending to put this out for sharing and reuse.  Similarly in the conclusion a note could be made regarding that reasoning as to why he doesn't jump to any of them (though of course, Keepers may make up their own plans of attack).  I need to re-read the base story, I'm more familiar honestly with the short story by Elizabeth Bear and Sarah Monette about them.