How to Insult and Snub People at Court

[SaxBasilisk]

Between my Stapleford players' usual behavior and my Broughton player's feud with Agravaine, I need some good ways to insult or snub people at court in ways that won't necessarily get them killed out of hand. Are there any sources you might recommend?

[svensson]

Watch Tyrion Lannister.

Memorize everything. 😁

OK, first is the public snubbing. Refuse to greet them, take their hand, or even look at them without a direct order from the host or sovereign.

Second, commission several troubadours to sing embarrassing songs about them. If you really want to stick it to the guy, the story has to not only embarrassing, but TRUE. Remember that time the guy fell off his horse on a hunt? Have the harper say that 'as a result, Sir So and So examined the fewments closely'. 'Fewments' are a Medieval term for herbivore dung, whereas 'scat' is dung from carnivores, and both are the 'polite' way to refer to animal shit when discussing a hunt.

Third, rumors. Rumors are awesome. Mutter to yourself complaining about your target in front of a stable boy or body servant and it'll be all over the castle by morning, and all over the country by spring.

Also remember that your servants are 'agents in place'. They hear everything about everyone and can be an invaluable tool for you. All too many nobles treat cooks and stable hands like they don't exist, so don't make that mistake. Treat your staff well, including pay, and you'll have a fairly good intelligence service at your disposal. Treat them poorly and they're like KGB moles in the CIA.

Additionally, take a look at 'Downton Abbey' for some good examples of the Politics of Gossip.

Now, be aware that if you open this bag of scat, you're probably going to be splashed with some. Things like this ALWAYS come back to haunt you, most especially if you're talking smack about a royal favorite. And men have been executed for less. So, just like you were told at your first jousting tourney, BE CAREFUL.

 

Edited December 10, 2022 by svensson

[svensson]

A couple of notes about playing the intrigue game.

When it comes to servants, don't threaten, entice. A couple of silver Marks in the right pockets and you could have a pair of ears in every castle you visit. I don't know how KAP handles player wealth but if your 'Winter Campaign' includes wrecking the reputation of a rival while still protecting your own, it's a wise expenditure of capital to buy a pair of ears in several castles in the land.

Another thing: DON'T TAKE IT TOO FAR! I can't emphasize that enough. There is fine line but a wide moat between 'taking the arrogant twit down a notch' and 'utterly ruining a man out of unseemly spite'. Know when to stop.

Lastly, never EVER admit that you resort, have resorted, or ever will resort to these tactics. They are unchivalrous in the extreme, and being too obvious about it can ruin the reputation of your entire family for generations to come. And that's not hyperbole. History is rife with sons having to atone for the sins their father's fast lip caused the family. And no father will marry his daughter to a 'carpet knight' who can't win glory of his own and so resorts to underhanded tactics. You really, REALLY don't want the Crown to 'augment' your heraldic arms with 'cross in saltaire sable' [a great big black X in the middle of your heraldry] or some other symbol of disrepute... and it is entirely the Crown's prerogative to do so if they've a mind to do so. So don't give them one.

Edited December 9, 2022 by svensson