Terror Australis Corrections Thread

[MOB]

With the release of Terror Australis 2nd Ed in PDF, this thread is to catch any typos or errors spotted. Please note them here, quoting the page number, the error, and the suggested correction.

This "tribal edit" thread will be open for two weeks (until November 30). The book will then be sent to press with any corrections made.

Many thanks.

[trystero]

p. 2, Credits section, Interior Art: Pat Loboyko's last name is misspelled as "Laboyko".

Back cover, second column, ¶ 1: In the second sentence, "a perfect for setting for Call of Cthulhu" should be "a perfect setting for Call of Cthulhu", minus the superfluous "for".

[Nysalor]

Reading this weekend.

Initial spots.

Sydney Harbour is a proper name and should not be spelled 'Harbor'.

The origins chart omits Jews.

[dce]

A few small ones:

• Front cover -- most authors names are in small caps, but Sandy Petersen is in ALL CAPS
• p29: The section titled "Northern Tropical Tablelands" covers both the tropical north of Australia (North Queensland, NT, and top of WA) but it also covers the south-west (coastal) parts of WA down to Perth, which are not at all tropical. Suggest either renaming the section or splitting it into a tropical and non-tropical part
• p72: right column, last bullet -- "QUANTAS" should be "QANTAS"
• p110: left column, last para of "Suburbs and Inner City Housing" -- text refers to the "Booth family from Gunditjamara" which makes it seem like Gunditjamara is a place; it's the name of the Aboriginal group whose lands that the Booths came from. It would be more accurate to say "Booth family from Gunditjamara country" or something similar.
• p174: right column, para directly under "Australian Cults" header -- refers to six organisations which follow, but there are only five.
• p191: right column, para directly under "Dark Spirit Powers" header -- refers to the "Provenance" of a spirit, but should be "Domain" as per the paragraph to the left
• p192: right column, para directly under "Defining Dark Spirits" header -- same as above

Also, the maps of Adelaide (p118) and Brisbane (p124) do not mark any of the locations mentioned in the text. The Adelaide map also seems to label a few modern-day suburb names rather than 1920s ones; it also shows the city's main cemetery (centre left of the map, immediately west of West Terrace) as a lake. For a period-source, see: http://mapco.net/adelstreets/suburbs.htm

 

Dean (from Adelaide)

[Nysalor]

General: Leading on subheadings is extremely tight throughout.

General: Insert 'bloody' before each noun in dialogue.

P11. "Port Jackson, a northern part of Sydney". Extremely misleading. Port Jackson is part of Sydney Harbour (with a 'u', throughout) the centre of Sydney.

P12. "Port Phillip (now Melbourne), which was settled in 1803." This settlement was abandoned almost immediately due to a shortage of water.

P13. "In the wake of *expansion* only 300 of the original Palawa population remained." Victimless. Suggest 'settlement' or 'aggressive expansion".

P13. "They considered the Aboriginal people as their enemies, due to their stealing of livestock and killing the European intruders." Livestock were not stolen, they were speared. 

P15. "The only sign of his passing was the discovery (some years later) of an inland stand of three trees, each marked with a carved “L.” The carved "L" was discovered on four trees in three separate locations by three separate expeditions.

P15. "The Royal Society in Victoria organized an audacious expedition in 1860–61 to cross the continent from south to north and back again, exploring the eastern seaboard of Australia." "Eastern seaboard" is misleading in the extreme. Suggest 'unknown interior".

P15. "Burke and Wills died of starvation in the desert." Not starvation, but exhaustion and (probably) poisoning from the improper leaching of native food plants. The depot was not in the desert: it constituted a series of waterholes.

P17. "Aboriginal bushrangers included Musquito, a Kuring-gai convict and former tracker from the Hawkesbury River in New South Wales". If hyphenated, it is Ku-ring-gai. It can also be spelled Kuringgai.

P19. "never with such impact on the Home Front." lowercase here: home front?

P19. "the Anzacs were dispatched at dawn on April 25th". Passive voice. Suggest "the Anzacs fought their way ashore...".

P19. "Despite the courage and efforts of the Anzacs and their allies, the Turks could not be routed." The Gallipoli campaign involved more British and French soldiers than ANZACS. The Turks were defending their homeland. There is a bit of myth-building in this section. Suggest at least "Despite the courage and efforts of the Anzacs and their British, French and Indian allies, the Turks staunchly defended their homeland." 

P20. "... leading to a uniquely “empty land” with centers of population scattered sparsely around the more fertile southern and eastern coasts." Reverse order: eastern and southern coasts.

P22. "It is doubtful that archeologists have yet found the earliest sites, which are probably in the north of the continent, a region difficult to reach." Suggest "in regions submerged at the end of the last Ice Age." <Edited: ignore this, it is a late C20 perspective> 

P23. "Known as “the place of fabulous wealth” to western family groups" - suggest "to local clan groups".

P24. "All facts gathered support the Aboriginal oral traditions, which say that they have inhabited the continent since before Time began." Unnecessary definite article. "... support Aboriginal oral traditions..."

P25. Section "Queensland Coast and Highlands" begins with an incomplete sentence.

P26. This administrative region was formally created when Australia became a country, but is yet to be significantly developed until the tiny federal capital of Canberra is opened in 1927. Suggest "... significantly developed. The Federal Parliament was first convened in the tiny federal capital of Canberra in 1927."

P27. "Tower Hill, a volcanic cone, was possibly the last active volcano in Australia." For clarity, suggest the term "mainland Australia".

P29. The section "Northern Tropical Tableland" begins with an incomplete sentence.

P29. "A few years’ later ore..." Replace space after apostrophe with hard space to better emphasise separation of words.

P30. "The Canning Stock Route is a long trail of watering holes used by crews driving herds of cattle between Wiluna in the south and Hall’s Creek in the Kimberley region." Reverse the order. Cattle were driven from the north to the south, from the Kimberley to the Perth rail feeds. There were only three drives in the 1920s.

P30. "The most famous geological formation in this area is Uluru (also known as Ayers Rock)". Sadly, from 1873 the formation was almost universally known by its western designation. Only the Anangu knew it as Uluru. Tourism began in the late 1930s. It became generally known to outsiders as Uluru only from the 1980s.

P33. "The Indigenous peoples of Australia, Aboriginal people and Torres Strait Islanders (the first Australians) are the custodians of immense knowledge about the Australian land, both its mundane and supernatural aspects." Capitalise "First Australians".

P35. "the 1926 census". Capitalise specific census. The 1926 Census.

P35. "The Boards used the protection of Church and Government institutions". General, so do not capitalise 'church' or 'government'.

P35. "relocated almost all Aboriginal people away from their traditional lands (now used as farmland for Europeans) and onto reserves or missions." Suggest add "Small groups also lived in camps on the edge of rural towns, or in urban environments as workers in the white economy."

P35. "In 1928, limited citizenship was granted to the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people but they were still not permitted to drink in hotels or mix with the larger community". Be careful here. I am not sure what this 1928 date refers to. Rights varied from state to state. Full and equal citizenship rights came only in the aftermath of the 1967 Refendum. Suggest "In the 1920s, limited citizenship rights were granted to small numbers of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people under strict conditions. Generally, Aborigines were still not permitted to vote, be counted in census, drink in hotels or mix with the larger community. They were ineligible for social security benefits or war pensions.

P35.  "...speaks of having “the Dreaming” or the “Law” of a particular area in which they lived..." Be consistent. "speaks of having
"the Dreaming” or "the Law” of a particular area in which they live".

Cheers

John from Can-braa

 

 

 

 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Nysalor
corrections

[Nysalor]

 

STET

P22. "It is doubtful that archeologists have yet found the earliest sites, which are probably in the north of the continent, a region difficult to reach." Suggest "in regions submerged at the end of the last Ice Age."

Ignore this, it is a late twentieth century perspective.

John

[Nysalor]

Chapter 2 and beyond...

P37. “Those who encounter Aboriginal people in the southern or eastern parts of Australia in the 1920s will almost certainly find them living on one of the organized (government and church run) missions.” Suggest you add, “Small groups also live as fringe-dwellers in camps on the edge of country towns, or in urban enclaves working in the white economy.

P37. NOTE: “Tribe” is a commonly used gloss, but Aboriginal peoples do not live in tribes in the technical sense. (No chiefs, etc.) Suitable substitutions include nations, clans or language groups.

P39. “When hunting emus or in war a heavy spear was used...” ‘War’ is a touch overdone; suggest “intergroup conflict”.

P39. Woomera. First sentence in section is incomplete.

P41. “A didgeridoo is a hollow piece of wood 4–5 feet (1.2–1.5 m) long...” Suggest “hollow tube of wood...”

P41. “It was used to ward off women and uninitiated men from the males' sacred ceremonies.” Suggest “It was used to scare away women and uninitiated boys from mens’ secret/sacred ceremonies.” 

P42. “Prejudice, low wages, and a lack of any kind of social security benefit system meant that widows or divorced women struggled to make ends meet, with the only realistic option for many being to re-marry.” The third point is not entirely correct; for instance Jack Lang introduced child endowment in NSW in 1925. Suggest “Prejudice, low wages, and very low levels of social security support meant that widows or divorced women struggled to make ends meet, with the only realistic option for many being to re-marry.”

P42. The woman in the photograph is Dulcie DEAMER, not “Dreamer”, Sydney’s ‘Queen of Bohemia’ and an internationally known novelist.

P43. Table B omits Jews. The first synagogue in Australia was founded in Sydney in 1844 and European persecution produced a steady wave of migration throughout the later nineteenth century. Population percentage will be slightly less than one percent.

P45. “One phenomenon that was new to the 1920s was the “six o'clock swill””. The term dates from the nineteen forties, but it’s too good to pass up.

P46. “During the 1920s, the great cricketing rivalry between England and Australia for the Ashes—a Test Cricket competition held in Australia, running to the present day.” Replace with “held alternatively in England and Australia”.

P50. “Bushwhacked: exhausted.” Online sources suggest that this is North American in derivation and meaning. Suggest deleting.

P51. “Larrikin: high-spirited person or harmless prankster.” In the 1920s this term still had strong connotations of a hoodlum or ruffian, a member of an urban crime gang or push.

See the following from the Australian National Dictionary Centre -

“larrikin

A person who acts with apparently careless disregard for social or political conventions; a person who is unsophisticated but likeable and good-hearted, 'a rough diamond'; a joker. This well-known Australian term is recorded from the 1890s, but originally the term was quite pejorative. From the 1860s into the early 20th century a larrikin was 'a young urban rough, especially a member of a street gang; a hooligan'. The term comes from British dialect larrikin 'a mischievous or frolicsome youth', ultimately a form of larking (about) 'indulging in mischievous fun', also attested in British dialect as larack about. For a more detailed discussion about larrikins in Australian history see the article 'The Leary Larrikin' in our newsletter Ozwords.”

- http://slll.cass.anu.edu.au/centres/andc/meanings-origins/l

Suggested addition: “Also, a hoodlum or urban rough, a member of a street gang or push.”

P55. “The most likely Science skills for an Aboriginal character are: Astronomy, Botany, Geology, Meteorology, and Zoology.” Not Biology?

P57. Sundowner. The term “sundowner” is usually used in a perjorative sense, someone who arrives at sundown after the day’s work is complete, gets food and board for the night, and disappears early the next day. 

P59. “He proved to be an excellent guide and an ad hoc research assistant.” Unnecessary “an”. Replace with “He proved to be an excellent guide and ad hoc research assistant.” 

P61. “Later, as a painter, he would depict his life experiences and the Australian landscape on canvas.” Albert Namatjira usually painted using watercolours on paper. Suggest changing to “Later, as a painter, he would depict his life experiences and the Australian landscape in vivid detail.

P63. “In 1927, Australia's newest police force was formed: the Federal Capital Territory Police whose jurisdiction was limited to the new seat of government in Canberra.”  

[insert paragraph break - the following is not about the Federal Police.]

“Early police powers echoed the London Metropolitan Police Act of 1829...”

P64. “...the Police Strike of 1923 (see Strike! box, nearby). Replace “nearby” with “page 65”.

P66. Police Equipment. Does a sand-filled baton (1D8) really do more damage than a wooden truncheon (1D6)?

P72. “Overland, Willy, Dodge” Insert hard space between Willy and Dodge to clearly seperate words.

P72, and throughout, including image caption on P73. The acronym QUANTAS should be QANTAS.

P73. “a new service between Sydney–Melbourne–Brisbane–Tasmania”. The order should be Brisbane-Sydney-Melbourne-Tasmania. AS Tasmania is an island rather than a city, it would be good to name the actual landing place (probably Hobart or Launceston).

P74. “the party dying out due to starvation or a lack of water because of poor scenario design supplies limited gaming fun.”  Reword for clarity.

Edited November 30, 2018 by Nysalor
corrections

[Nysalor]

On to deepest darkest Sydney, and the question of why you moved the Harbour Bridge...

P80. “Music performances, talks on religion, sporting results, news read from the daily press, and programming advising women on how to better organize their tasks, were the norm.” Remove final comma.

P80. “extensive numbers of Aboriginal weapons in the William Dixson Collection”. Replace “weapons” with “artifacts”.

P81. “The artifacts being primarily of Egyptian, Greek, South Italian, and Etruscan origin, and were collected by Chancellor Sir Charles Nicholson between 1856 and 1857.” Suggest: “The artifacts, primarily of Egyptian, Greek, South Italian, and Etruscan origin, were collected by Chancellor Sir Charles Nicholson between 1856 and 1857.

P81. “Branches hold weekly public lectures on relevant subjects, as well as conducting lending libraries of relatively commonplace theosophical and occult works (accessible to general public for a nominal subscription).” Replace “conducting” with “hosting”.

P82. “The tiny settlements, missions, and cattle stations that pass for civilization are few and far between…” Not sure what you are suggesting here.

P85. “The Harbor Sydney Harbor, Middle Harbor, and North Harbor make up nearly 12 miles (19 km) of the Port Jackson waterway.” These are official place names and should be spelt “Harbour” throughout.

P86. “Why visit Sydney: Sydney is mentioned in Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu in relation to the Cthulhu Cult.” No cult is mentioned existing in Sydney in the novella, merely that the Alert is towed there and the mysterious idol is housed in ‘the museum by Hyde Park’.

P86. “International Connections: …Netherlands”. Usually referred to as “The Netherlands”.

P89. Sydney map. 
Harbour Bridge construction sites are incorrect! They are further to the east on the next headlands - Milson’s Point and Dawson’s Point.
Darlinghurst should be directly below Kings Cross.
The Domain is simply The Domain. Boomerang Street, when it existed, ran between Cook and Phillip Parks.
While the original land grant was ‘The Glebe’, the suburb name is simply Glebe.
From 1915, Woolloomooloo Bay was bisected by the world’s largest wooden wharf, certainly large enough to appear on the map.
#8 is Haymarket. In the 1920s, the city’s Chinatown was still predominantly around the Rocks/Queen Victoria Markets.
Luna Park was constructed in 1935!
If #10 refers to Kate Leigh, it should be spelled out. There were hundreds of sly grog shops across inner Sydney.

(See my map for partial clarification).

P91. “Located to the west and north of Sydney is the Hawkesbury River in which is said to dwell a “river monster.”” The Hawkesbury is north of Sydney, in rugged and spectacular sandstone country.

P92. “North Head Quarantine Station (on the north side of Sydney Harbor) operated between 1832 to 1984, holding and processing…” Insert hard space between “1984,” and “holding” to ensure proper word separation.

P92. “House Famine”. Replace as “house famine”.

P92. “In these new suburbs the traditional “federation-style” architecture gives way to endless tracts of red-roofed “California bungalows.” “Federation is capitalized.

P92. “these areas are politely referred to as “Bohemian” in the press.” Lower case “bohemian”. Artist types, not central Europeans.

P92. “The bathhouses around Oxford Street and the boarding houses run by sympathetic landlords cater to the gay population and are safer than the beats in Boomerang Street and the Domain, which are often targeted by police agents provocateur.”
There were bathhouses throughout the city and beaches. Boomerang Street/Domain are the same location. I would suggest Hyde Park as another prominent beat. Suggest, “The bathhouses throughout the inner city and the boarding houses run by sympathetic landlords cater to the nascent camp (gay) subculture and are safer than the beats
in Hyde Park or the Domain, which are often targeted by police agents provocateur.”

P92. “Kings Cross is a busy restaurant precinct”. Later certainly, but not in the 1920s. It’s a bohemian, European-style café culture at best. Be careful; Sydney is a very provincial city throughout the 1920s. There are few decent restaurants *anywhere*.

P92. “The dangerous back alleys of Darlinghurst and neighboring Chinatown are where those in search of the rare, the exotic, and the illegal are likely to find themselves.” See note on Chinatown above. Suggest “dangerous back alleys of Darlinghurst, Woolloomooloo and Surrey Hills (collectively known as “Razorhurst”) are where those in search of the rare, the exotic, and the illegal are likely to find themselves.”

P93. “By 1925, the authorities had had enough, and the area is demolished and deemed unfit for human habitation. Picturesque parkland replaces the slum.” This is incorrect. While some buildings in Frog Hollow were demolished in 1925, the slum persisted in some form till the late 1940s. Kate Leigh and Samuel Freeman ran the Riley Street Push from Frog Hollow in the late 1920s. See http://www.razorhurst.com.au/tour_2.html

P95. “The first two underground stations,Museum and St James, opened in 1926 and link Central Station to Circular Quay, the main tram and ferry depot.” Not quite. Circular Quay Station and the completion of the City Circle came much later. Suggest, “The first two underground stations, Museum and St James, opened in 1926 and link Central Station to inner parts of the city.”

P97. “Clifton Gardens (Taronga)”. Suggest “Clifton Gardens (Taronga Zoo)”

P97. “Campaigns by moralists led to the adoption of laws making it illegal for a man to live off the earnings of prostitutes. The law presented a loophole for Devine, who controlled the brothel trade in Darlinghurst, the Cross, and “the ‘Loo.””. This applies equally to Kate Leigh. Use as introductory paragraph?

P98. “The mountains are named in typically prosaic Australian style for the haze of eucalyptus oil that rises constantly from the bush.” Suggest rewording for clarity.

P98. “its picturesque setting and easy distance from town”. Suggest “easy distance from Sydney”.

P99. “One of the most visible of occult groups in Australia is the Theosophists.” Suggest, “Theosophists comprise one of the most visible occult groups in Australia.”
 

Edited December 1, 2018 by Nysalor
corrections - further info

[Nysalor]

Finally, magesterial Melbourne and further points obscure.
 

P102. "32 feet (40 metres)". 32 feet is 9.75 metres.

P103. "sub-culture". The hyphen is unnecessary.

P105. "Strange Australia: Merri Creek tunnels, nearby". Replace "nearby" with "page 104".

P110. "Booth family from Gunditjamara". Replace "from Gunditjamara" with "from Gunitjamara lands", or "of the Gunditjamara clan".

P110. "A further outpost of Bohemia". Suggest "a further bohemian enclave".

P113. "Six O'clock Closing". No capitalisation is necessary: "six o'clock closing".

P115. "Fremantle is a major international port." Suggest "Neigbouring Fremantle is a major..."

P115. "...Noongar peoples, who had lived in the area for around 38,000 years."

"Archaeological evidence from Perth and Albany confirms that the region has been occupied for at least 45,000 years, with some caves at Devil's Lair in the hills near Margaret River showing human habitation from 47,000 years ago." - https://www.dpc.wa.gov.au/swnts/Noongar-Heritage-and-History/Pages/Noongar-History.aspx

P116. The Battle of Pinjarra is also known as the Pinjarra Massacre. Given you use the word "murdered", the latter may be more appropriate here.

P117. "the hulking presence" is an odd description for a spiritualist organisation. The phrase can be deleted.

P119. "an exhibition, although the items were never returned." Suggest "exhibition [Full Stop] The items ..."

P119. "Transcends a vertical slice of Adelaide society". Reword for clarity.

P120. "was the only Australian city". Replace with "was the only Australian capital".

 

Edited December 3, 2018 by Nysalor

[Mike M]

Many thanks to all who contributed.