An Obituary for a Brave Knight

[rsanford]

In @Nick J.'s Magic World game last week we lost one of our two fighter type characters. And it wasn't just any character but a hulking killing machine often referred to as an Iron Golem. Not only did Diedtrich have a powerful damage bonus and a magic sword but also a sword profiency in the 90% percentile range. My character, Dietrich's man servant and the other fighter type is at best a mediocre fighter and will probably have a short life time now that Dietrich is gone. That said I thought it would be good to write an obituary for the fair Sir Dietrich. It goes something like this...
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“Wilhelm Dietrich “Sir Dietrich” von Buddenbrock made his last wildly inappropriate and sarcastic comment on July 28th.

Dietrich was born and immediately dubbed “our favorite child” to Wilhelm and Joan Buddenbrock (deceased) in March of 1993. Their constant love, support, caring far exceeded anything Dietrich deserved.

He is survived by his five wives, sixteen girlfriends, forty three children and overly dedicated warhorse named Sica. He will miss Sica.

He had three basic philosophies“work is for the unimaginative”, “never use your real name” and “failure to consume a proferred glass of ale is a terrible waste.”

Dietrich died knowing that the Black Labrador Pub in High Hankle is the best place to get a buzz and that a visit to the Daisy Club in Lankshorn will give you a rash that just won’t go away.

Dietrich’s demise will now allow all his children to emerge from his shadow. A variety of boys and girls with no upbringing whatsoever complete the list of those left to embellish his memory.

Dietrich’s service included five years serving as the Commander of his Lord’s guard and seven years as a professional ale taster and womanizer. His time and position afforded hundreds of people exposure to Dietrich’s unique personality. Half a dozen or so of these might speak of him fondly if pressed.

His regrets were few but include eating a falafel from a street merchant in Dreg, opening a door in Dun Cru covered with runes and that no evidence exists of his prowess on the jousting field or in the bedroom.

There will be no viewing since his comrades refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of ale in his hand so that he would appear natural to visitors.

Cremation will take place at the earliest convenience and his ashes will be kept in an urn until the party gets tired of having it around.

Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Dietrich’s life in their own way. Raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.