Jump to content

Blue Meanies!!!


Recommended Posts

BRP Blue Meanies

Source: Yellow Submarine, Apple Films, 1968


“Pepperland is an itch of joy upon the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched.”

"Are you Bluish? You don't look Bluish."

Blue Meanies are militaristic inter-dimensional invaders who hate beauty and the fine arts, particularly music. They are bright blue humanoids with broad toothy mouths, long sausage-like noses, and short arms ending in huge, clawed, six-fingered paws. Their spherical torsos sit atop long legs. When it comes to apparel, Blue Meanies favor black domino masks, fleecy dark blue tunics, and garish red-and-yellow striped hose. They also wear lumpy black berets that look suspiciously like Mickey Mouse ears. Meanies have highly developed military technology but prefer non-lethal weaponry. After all, they want their victims to survive to endure their bullying. Troops typically don’t wear armor.

Blue Meanies aren't necessarily tougher or stronger than humans but their compact body shape does make them sometimes harder to hit in combat and also helps them endure frigid temperatures that would hinder human soldiers. They're aggressive enough, especially when they outnumber or outgun their foes, but not particularly bright or brave. If the tide of battle turns against them, they'll run like rabbits. They can see well in the dark, their eyes emitting flashlight-like beams.

Blue Meanie Trooper

STR 3D6 (11)

CON 2D6+6 (13)

SIZ 2D6+9 (16)

INT 2D6+3 (10)

POW 3D6 (11)

DEX 3D6 (11)

APP 2D6+3 (10)

Move: 10

Hit Points: 15

Damage Bonus: +1D4

Armor: None

Attacks: Claws 60%, 1D6+1D4; Pistol 55%, 1D10+2; Sub-machinegun 50%, 1D8

Skills: Climb 45%, Dodge 57%, First Aid 65%, Hide 45%, Jump 60%, Language (English) 50%, Listen 60%, Repair (Mechanical) 45%, Spot 50%

Mutations: Adaptability (Extreme Cold), Luminescence (Flashlight Eyes), Natural Weaponry (Claws)

In addition to being efficient gunsmiths, Blue Meanies are apparently skilled genetic engineers as well, having created several kinds of specialty troops even more bizarre than the regular Meanies:

Bonkers are pencil-thin, 15-foot soldiers that resemble circus stilt men, right down to their swallow-tail coats and exaggeratedly tall top hats. They carry green apples the size of muscle balls, which they use to beat opponents over the head. “Bonked” victims turn grayish and become listless and passive to the point of near immobility.

Clowns are paunchy, cone-shaped warriors capable of firing explosive or paralyzing missiles from the tops of their pointed hats when their ball-shaped noses are pushed. They are also employed as guards, capable of spinning their heads 360 degrees and emitting piercing siren-like cries.

Snapping Turks resemble grossly obese Shriners, sporting red fezes and vests and long black sideburns. Their bulky stomachs are equipped with fang-laden reptilian mouths.

Enforcers dress like Hollywood gangsters, but they have toothy reptilian mouths where their hands should be; their patent-leather shoes open to emit hands clutching pistols.

Felixes are dwarves with feline ears and tails. They are agile leapers whose favorite tactic is to stomp on opponents since they don’t carry weapons. Their uniforms consist of blue sweaters numbered one through nine.

The Dreadful Flying Glove

The Blue Meanies have developed four-headed guard dogs but the pinnacle of their biological tinkering is the Dreadful Flying Glove, an elephant-sized creature that resembles a blue human hand. It has a single eye where a human’s thumbnail would be and a wide mouth between the middle and ring fingers. It is capable of jet speeds but can also hover like a balloon. The Glove’s method of attack is to form a giant fist and smash whatever is beneath it;, it can also grasp opponents. It is apparently intelligent, able to obey complex instructions, but cannot speak. It emits sinister giggles when it has trapped or injured a victim but deep roars when it is thwarted.


The Blue Meanie Trooper was built on the standard 250 skill points plus 100 personal skill points from INT. I'm concerned that the BRP version seems more menacing and competent than the creatures in the movie.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You mad genius!

Not too effective I'd think. Remember, they quickly conquered Pepperland. It took the Fool, the Monster, the Mystic and the Musician a spirit quest through the Seas to bring down Max. They had the help of the trickster Jeremiah Hillary Boob as well.

I have an overwhelming desire to shoe this in to Shattered Hopes, by the way. Seems like it would fit nicely.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's what I've got on the Bonkers so far. I'm unsure of how to define, in game terms, being "bonked."

Blue Meanie Bonker

Bonkers are braver than regular Meanies (as befits elite troops) but prefer to attack en mass so that their blunt, imprecise fruit weapons can be used to best effect. Their ridiculously tall, thin bodies make them hard to hit and enable them to stride swiftly across the battlefield. However, they’ve got little muscle mass or fat to protect them when they do get hit, and their spindly frames are vulnerable to back problems and sprained joints. They’ve also got to eat more than regular warriors because they shed body heat so rapidly.

STR 3D6 (11)

CON 2D6+3 (10)

SIZ 4D6+12 (26)

INT 2D6+6 (13)

POW 3D6 (11)

DEX 2D6+9 (16)

APP 3D6 (11)

Move: 12

Hit Points: 18

Damage Bonus: +1D6

Armor: None

Attacks: Giant Green Apple Bonk 00%, Special; Grapple 00%, 1D4+1D6

Skills: Climb 00%, Dodge 32%, Jump 00%, Language (English) 65%, Parry 00%, Shield 00%, Spot 00%, Throw 00%

Mutations: Metabolic Weakness (Increased Caloric Needs), Structural Improvement (Outrageously Long Limbs, equivalent to 2 levels of Stretching, 2-meter reach)

[250 skill points, 130 personal skill points. How to define being “bonked” in game terms?]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...