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Butters

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Butters last won the day on October 8 2017

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About Butters

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    Down South
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    Call of Cthulhu and other horror style R.P.Gs

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    Call of Cthulhu fan boy
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    Call of Cthulhu sixth edition
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    United Kingdom
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    Is that laughter I hear?

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  1. No as I refer you to my previous comments about memory and stunned guppy fish.
  2. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    After resting up for a couple of days for some much needed healing the Party finally meets back up with Zeal in the taproom of the Listing sausage as they enjoy a hearty breakfast of stewed tea and pottage the Doctor is approached by a man going by the name of Quinton Lambert, he claims to be a merchant and is interested in buying some Muskets for the Dawn Legion. The Doctor politely explains that he is a medical practitioner and so unfortunately is not involved in that part of the family business but he would be more than happy to provide an introduction to Zeal but Mr Lambert becomes a little cagey and says he would prefer not to deal with middlemen so he makes his apologises and leaves heading back to a corner booth where two other men await him. After breakfast Zeal introduces the Party to a rather taciturn gentleman by the name of Jonah and explains what he wants the Party to do. It basically boils down to finding and rooting out any more members of this Xaxus cult. Zeal informs the Party that Jonah has checked out the Smith and Barber stone carvers compound and that he has found out some rather interesting things and that he also thinks that some of the people described sound like members of a Dutch trading embassy made up of the Arnolt family who are based in Yarmouth. They are well respected locally as merchants and it seems that they had a daughter and son, the daughter sounds to match the lady who was at the stone carvers. The Party ruminate on this information and the Doctor takes the opportunity to inform Zeal about the merchants who were trying to purchase the wheel locks, Zeal thanks the Doctor and has a hushed conversation with Jonah the phrase black marketer is briefly heard. Zeal finishes his conversation with Jonah and returns to the Xaxus issue it seems that Jonah also found Mr Smiths body in one of the upstairs room, his wife Lucy has yet to be found whilst Mr Barber apparently left sometime before the storm hit Yarmouth. Zeal explains that they must tread softly as the peace process has only just begun and he has instructions that they must be completed as the county if not the whole south east needs the herring fleets back out and working. Ralph and the Doctor have a wide ranging conversation about religion, isolationism, the benefits of a high fibre diet and why dead people can't say no but its finally agreed that they should head back out and cross the land sea cooperatives lines and check out the stone carvers themselves. Jonah leads them back out into the blasted ice bound streets of Yarmouth past the long ragged lines of frostbitten and half starved people queuing up for alms. The journey took a long time as between the foul weather and their constant checking to see if they were being followed they made slow going but they eventually made it to the Smith and Barber compound safely if somewhat chilly. The Party were led into an area which seemed to be a workshop a large object stood centre stage it was about eight feet tall and even from the doorway they could see that the unholy carvings that partially covered one side which bore a striking resemblance to the monolith from the island. The Doctor turned to Jonah shock across his face "Gadzooks! why is this still here it must be destroyed at once" Jonah took a step back from the Doctors sudden rage and rushed to explain "We will but Zeal for the Lord wants it done quiet like, things are tense at the moment he doesn't want to upset the apple cart...Don't worry we are covering it up and securing it and when all is settled it will be broken up" The Doctor is not mollified but after a bit more ranting he eventually calms down. Jonah then slightly unhappily guides the Party down into the basement where the earthen floor has been tilled and some unholy cabbage vines can be seen growing up. The Doctor goes into a rage attempting to rip up the plants and is only stopped after some effort by Ralph and Jonah and the promise that the plants will be burnt and the soil salted. After the Doctor stops frothing at the mouth and quoting scripture Jonah reminds them what they are here to do and Ralph asks to be taken to the office where the unfortunate Mr Smith was found with his head bashed in. The body had been removed but the bloodstained desk and floor was still evident. The horribly stained mallet was examined and its heft was taken in an attempt to figure out how strong the attacker must have been to commit such a foul crime. Questions were asked about Smith and Barber and if they had any business connections with the Dutch. Jonah took out some bits of paper and after a bit of a shuffling around he found the scraps he was looking for. Straightening up he read from his notes "Well we couldn't find any connections with the Dutch but it does seem as Mrs Smith was politically active and Lucy was also believed to have been a keen Leveller and possibly part of the congregation of Coster, this was probably how she became corrupted. The Doctor whilst listening to Jonahs report had started to flick through the bloody ledger that remained on the desk and saw that the tidy sum of two hundred shillings had been taken out of the business account for 'Travelling expenses' After checking around and asking a few more questions it seemed that Mr Smith had been struck from behind by the mallet his head cracking like an egg under the forceful blow and one of the few people still unaccounted for was his own wife Lucy! Ralph lumbered off to examine the back door that was used by the Dutch lady to escape him during the rescue but after checking the alley way that it lead into he came up empty. After they had finished their examination of the building and the records of Smith and Barber they headed back out into the rain and onto the home of the unfortunate Mr Smith in search of more information and maybe the now twice damned wife Lucy. The house was fairly close just down a few alleyways but the Parties hopes were crushed as the house had not survived the storm and was in a pretty bad way with half the building reduced to rumble. The few people around were questioned and one remembered that the Smiths had taken rooms at the Great Yar Table which appeared to be a local Inn. They followed the old ladies instructions and went down a few more alleyways and streets before coming across a large solid building with Great Yar table written on the creaking sign above the door. The Doctor approached the closed door but was intercepted by a burly thug who had been taking shelter in the doorway. The Thug held out one meaty hand "The Inns closed mate a private function you understand so you better move on" The Doctor smiled and tried to duck past but the Thug wasn't having any nonsense and swung one fist at the Doctors gut, he misjudged things though and slipped on the ice a little causing the blow to miss. The Doctor held up his hands and started to make his apologies. He had only backed away a few paces when two other men rounded the side of the building to back up the thug one was armed with a Matchlock which he aimed towards the Doctor. The thug pointed at the Doctor and called out "When I say the Inns closed its fucking closed understand?" the Doctor continued backing away and making conciliatory noises until he made it back around the corner and out of sight. Ralph and Jonah were stood there with grins across their faces "Went well I see Cousin now see how it should be done" he counted "One, two lots and slipped around the corner keeping to the shadows and doorways. The Doctor watched Ralph sneak down to the rear of the Inn for a moment or two he then called Ralph a cocky bastard and then turned to Jonah "I've got a bad feeling about this It feels like Xaxus may have found a new Church, we need more men to force our way in" Jonah looked thoughtful then said "Agreed we need to find that girl but Zeal's not going to like this he wanted it dealt with quiet like. Look you keep an eye on things and find out what you can and I will go back to the Sausage and convince Zeal to give us some backup" He pats the Doctor on the back and with that he disappeared back down the street. The Doctor left alone looked around to see if he could find somewhere out of the way and sheltered to keep watch from most of the buildings were either badly damaged or locked up tight he was just about to give up and just wait where he was when he noticed a lamp flickering above one doorway so with nothing better to do he headed over. The building was in a pretty run down but looked to be whole at least and wiping away some frost and dirt from a wooden plaque he discovered that the building was a Mermaids supply shop stamping his feet the Doctor smiled a somewhat wistful smile "Well well it looks like me luck has changed" and he opened the door into a room of faded grandeur and as he closed the door behind him he heard a husky female voice ask if there was anything she could help him with. Quickly turning around the Doctor was confronted by a vision of beauty who introduced herself as Edith the Madame of the house .Before we fade to black to protect the younger readers among us the Doctor did ask a few questions before falling for her ample charms. Meanwhile Ralph had asked the brew house clientele some questions but had been unable to get much out of the poor wretches and the hatters seemed to be locked up tight so finding nothing else to distract him he sidled up to the rear courtyard of the Old Yar and after taking a deep breath he scrambled up and over the wall. Landing quietly in the yard near a parked cart he quickly scanned the yard and dashed behind a tool shed, just in time it seems as the rear door opened banged open and a swarthy fellow came out a wall of heat gusting out behind him as he headed towards the cart to check the crates secured on it, he seemed happy as after checking the straps he looked around before heading back into the Inn. Ralph counted and crept across the yard and with a bit of effort he managed to lift the lid on one of the crates and managed to see what was contained within. He was a little dismayed to find that the crate contained not the heathen idols he was expecting but instead found nothing but warm clothing and food stuffs. Replacing the lid he sighed "Well that's disappointing not even a bloody pistol let alone any idols oh well better get the feck out'' and with that he scrambled up the wall again and dropped back down into the filthy alley beyond almost landing on the prone body of a beggar who bawled out something to Ralph's rapidly retreating back as he headed back to the main street in search of his cousin. As he turned the corner he bumped into Jonah who slightly breathless had made it back from the Sausage with a few men there followed a brief conversation between them as they caught each other up on each others news and then they split up to find the Doctor. Jonah was the unlucky one as he tracked the Doctor down to Madame Edith's boudoir and after some effort managed to rescue the Doctor and dragged him down to the Brew house. Taking a barrel at the back and ordering some jacks of beer they began to discuss plans.
  3. Hello, I just wondered if you had seen the Heidelberg horror campaign book? Its for the Clockwork and Chivalry setting but has lots of extra ideas, factions etc for gaming in this period (Its set in 1610 so a little early) but its based on the continent and has some extra background information as well. So it might offer you some options/iddas to smooth things out in your campaign. Also the sanity mechanics from Renaissance deluxe offer a nice way for the horrors of war to take their toll on the characters. And if your players want to play as something different (Not all soldiers) the Factions side of things make it fairly easy to make a dirty dozen style group of expertise brought together to serve a particular goal. The castle needs to be infiltrated so the Captain is given a captured serving girl who worked there but she fled because she was Protestant/Catholic she helps them and just sticks around afterwards.
  4. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    The previous post doesn't do the session justice as the character of Ralph once again demonstrated the power of the great attack and he was able to wreak untold damage onto the poorly armed and trained cultists. The Player behind Ralph knows its a gamble but so far he has been able to kill or gravely wound the poor N.P.C facing him before taking too much damage in return. His health is being slowly chipped away though and the chances of Ralph suffering a game changing grave wound is becoming more and more likely. The Doctor is very thankful that Ralph is such a berserk murder beast as it has saved him on more than one occasion and so is keeping his fingers crossed that he has enough plasters and salves to keep Ralph in the fight for a little while longer.
  5. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Quick recap,The Party make their way back to the N.M.A lines with the signed peace treaty but as they walk down a street they are attacked by mysterious assailants the ambush fails but some civilians are killed and many hurt in the resulting crossfire. The Doctor hands Ralph the sealed tube with the treaty and tells him to carry on back to Zeal as he wants to see what he can do to help the wounded. Ralph heads off but hears the sound of gunfire resuming from behind him but after a pause carries on the Doctor made his decision. The Doctor tries to flee but is shot in the stomach and is soon captured by the mysterious group he is then badly beaten and tied up. Ralph meanwhile soon suspects that he is being followed and so sets up a ambush of his own involving an alleyway and a suspiciously open grate. Ralph swiftly deals with the men following him and after the smoke has cleared quickly continues onwards. The Doctor ends up still tied up in a corner of a large room and watches as a group gather which seem to be lead by a beautiful woman who talks with a strange accent the Doctor horrified realizes its another Xaxus cult. Ralph makes it back to the Listing sausage and hands over the treaty he explains what has happened, Zeal takes some convincing that it's not just some Digger plot but gives Ralph four men to attempt to rescue the Doctor. Ralph searches around the site of the ambush and speaks to a few locals and after awhile is able to stitch together enough information to get a direction and he finally tracks the cult down to a building owned by some stone carvers which consists of a single double story building within a walled yard.Ralph and the soldiers sneak closer and when they get close enough Ralph gives the signal and they rampage through the cultists, a couple of soldiers die in a variety of unpleasant ways but Ralph starts swinging with his new double handed axe and soon ploughs a red path through the cultists, none are able to stand before his mighty rage. The Lady seeing the gore streaked Ralph hacking his way towards her decides to spend the lives of her followers to save herself and she legs it out the back. Ralph and the remaining soldiers make short work of the remaining disheartened cultists who seem to be armed with only a few Matchlocks and clubs. They rescue the Doctor it seems the cult is still active and dangerous even after it lost its grip on Coster.Returning to Zeal he listens and decides on two plans Operation Bloater (Returning to the Island and clearing away the Crystal kids from the stench pools) and Operation Kaaskop a search and destroy mission against the agents of Xaxus.
  6. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Part two (Finally) of Peace in our time. There followed a very nervous pause as the party awaited a reply from behind the barricades they could hear sounds of a heated discussion but were unable to make out what was being said so there they waited in no mans land caught between two armed and potentially hostile forces. Eventually a voice called out from behind the barricade "My name is Nicholas Beckwith, elected Captain of this section. We see your flags of parley and will respect them so now is the time to state your case"Guilio steps forward and his Italian ancestry adds passion to his reply"We have come on a mission of mercy we have amongst our number the good Doctor Norton as requested and you know his reputation. We have also brought the hope of ending this conflict as asked and we request a meeting with your leaders" several moments past and then with a sound of tortured metal a crude gate is opened revealing a ragged group of emaciated townsfolk and whilst they looked half dead from frostbite, hunger and worry they were also the Party couldn't help but noticing also heavily armed with muskets, fowling pieces and a random selection of melee weapons. From out of this group an elderly man stepped forward and with a grin bowed low and welcomed the Party to Free Yarmouth.The elderly man introduced himself as Nicholas Beckwith but insisted that we call him Old Nick as it appears everyone else did. The Party were checked for weapons and generally poked and prodded non to gently before Old Nick told them to pack it in "Sorry about that but you must understand that things are...different now we have suffered much and it almost looked like God had turned his back on us. Many blame Parliament for the disasters they may not have liked the King but believe killing him was a step too far and an insult to the Almighty" he trailed off casting a sorrowful glance around him and the frozen devastation of his town. The Doctor looked around and said "God has not abandoned you but the Devil is abroad in this county and working his mischief trying to tempt the goodly away from the one true path , you know this to be true for have you have not heard the tales of monsters and demons stalking the dark of this county and of men such as the brave Mathew Hopkins who are working desperately to fight back. We are here to bring peace in the Lords name, he wants you safe and warm but we must all work together to make Yarmouth safe and whole again after all it is to the Devils benefit if we continue to fight amongst ourselves." There is muttering from the Diggers and a few embarrassed claps before Old Nick coughs and says "Well enough of that lets be getting onto the Fornicating Duck and you can do your speechifying at Twat it Thompson and see what happens" he leads the Party through the frozen streets, past houses hastily repaired with the salvaged remains of houses to far gone to be useful. Here and there they could see work gangs engaged it the mournful task of clearing away the ice and the bodies trapped within. Old Nick looked around with a kind of sad pride "See we are not traitors or misguided fools the flood and the storm destroyed almost everything and we looked to Parliament for help but none came, we looked to the Alderman for leadership" he paused to spit onto the ground before continuing "And help but they just hired that mercenary scum and barricaded themselves away and refused to help they then started to steal any food supplies that still remained in this damned town claiming it was necessary but we starved and they stayed fat. The only two people who were doing anything to help us were Thompson and Costner it was they who organised the work gangs, they who set up the food stores, they who got people working together to help each other....we owe them everything so you better be on your best behaviour they may not be Lords or Gentry but they deserve your respect" he stopped "Well here we are your on your own from now on and I for one hope you are on the level so good luck" he then pointed down a narrow alleyway towards a ramshackle two story building which seemed to slump at the alleys end it had a faded sign of two ducks hugging? which creaked above its misfitting door. The Party shrug say their thanks to Old Nick and leaving their escort head into the Inn.The Inn is dark and gloomy shadows pooling in the corners of the room, most of the furniture has been pushed to the sides leaving only one bench table in front of the spluttering fire. Sat upon a crudely fashioned chair sits a bear of a man a huge greying beard battling for space on his weather-beaten face against a set of huge bushy eyebrows, both are shot heavily with grey. His hands show signs of heavy labour covered as they are in numerous nicks and scars these huge hands rest lightly upon a huge mallet which seems to have a lot of suspiciously rusty red staining across its head. He smiles a broken toothed smile as the Party enter which seems oddly enough to be a genuine one he stands as they approach his bulk briefly blocking out the light from the fire plunging the room into darkness apart from a faint glow which flickers around his large form a startled cry escapes from the Doctors mouth. A great booming laugh erupts from the man "Oh sorry about that didn't mean to scare you" he quickly sits back down and the darkness is chased away "We don't have much coal to burn at the moment, there's plenty of wood but its all damp and smokes like the devil itself" he gestures to the sides of the room "Well grab a chair we have a lot to talk about and the weathers not getting any warmer" The Party grabs some stools and drag them towards the table introductions are made and soon they are in deep discussion tankards of beer appear as if by magic along with a couple of plates of bread and grilled herring. It seems that the infamous Digger leader who went by the name of Twat it Thompson was a hearty fellow who had been the owner of a couple of fishing ships before what was now locally referred to as Gods judgement and had been one of the few to place his personal grief behind him and instead decided to stay and organise in an effort to save what he could. He started out helping out the families of his crews but before long it was the neighbourhood and then anyone who needed help. They gathered food and supplies, dug out people buried under ice and the ruins of their homes, formed work gangs to unblock what streets they could and got a central soup kitchen going offering basic hot food and shelter, If it wasn't for him and his crews many more would have died in those first chaotic days after the storm and flood.After several hours of debate with Thompson reading the treaty several times an agreement is reached Thompson just wanted to help his friends and fellow townsfolk he had only taken up arms against the Alderman and their mercenaries as a last resort after suffering under their incompetence and corruption but he was no fool whilst they might have had a chance against them he knew that they had no chance against the N.M.A especially if they were supported by elements of Cromwell's own clockwork regiment. So he was more than happy to sign the treaty and its surprisingly generous terms but there was a catch. It seemed that the other leader Coster of the more militant Leveller faction had recently re-found religion in a big way and had split off from the Diggers and indeed the bulk of the Levellers and instead had founded a new religion which seemed to be Christian in nature but with a strong emphasis on the sacrifice of individuality for the security of the many. Thompson wasn't that impressed with the whole thing and in fact seemed to bitterly annoyed with Coster and the fact that he had split the people just when they ironically needed to present a united front. Thompson looked up at the Party somewhat sourly and said "I would be more than happy to sign this right now but even though he's no longer active in the committees you will still need Costers signature as well as mine on the treaty otherwise most of the Levellers will continue fighting, some will agree with me but like I say he was elected to lead them and he still does even though he seems to think otherwise' he takes a deep pull on his tankard "So I need you Doctor to examine him and declare him unfit to remain as leader that along with my support should be just enough to convince most of the Levellers to follow my Diggers and surrender." The Doctor was worried but agreed to have a look he was uncomfortable with declaring someone mad just on the basis of their faith as he thought that might lead to a very slippery slope. Thompson called out to someone in the darkness for his coat and standing up turned to the Party "Well lets get this done I will take you to the Church of Coster" and with that he picked up his mallet grabbed a thick coat from off one of his men and headed towards the door swiftly followed by the slightly bemused Party.It was getting dark by this time and the streets were fairly empty those who remained heading swiftly back to what ever shelter they could find before the night got too cold. Thompson headed further into the maze of alleyways that lead towards the destroyed docks the Party were soon completely lost but Thompson kept ploughing forward and after around fifteen minutes of sometimes heavy going they came into a small square, boarded on three sides by shops most of which were now little more than piles of rubble but the fourth side was taken up by a still solid looking stone church from which light and laughter spilled out from its open doors along with the smell of roasting meat which was undercut with something less definable. "Well here we are prepare yourselves for a glimpse of a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, you ready Doctor? hopefully this won't take long. Thompson and the Party enter the church and are greeted with a wall of people dancing, singing and offering up praises to their new messiah and saviour Coster. Forcing their way through this crowd in an attempt to find Coster they soon find themselves headed towards a raised area at the back where an altar would normally be. Thompson was none to happy to see piles of food heaped upon the stage some of it at the bottom seemed to be rotting. "What the fuck? the bastard has gone to far, come here Doctor you've seen what straits we are in, you know how little food we have on both sides of the lines and yet look at this surely this is a sign of madness" he scoops out a hunk green and mouldy meat and throws it into the congregation. He then grabs the nearest person "Tell me where is Coster?" the still smiling man looks up into Thompson's angry beard "The blessed one is upstairs he is communing with us for we are one and one is all" Thompson shoves the man back "He's upstairs apparently" Ralph fighting off the advances of a rather busty convert spots a ladder in the far corner that appears to lead up towards an open trapdoor "Get off you daft cow, ere there's a ladder over there that's got to be it ain't it" Seeing no other way the group push and shove their way across the room towards the ladder. Oddly enough none of the congregation seems to mind the rough treatment instead they just smile and sing Craigh is the first to notice that they are all singing in time no one seemed a little quicker or slower everyone was keeping exact time when he points this out the Party has a collective shudder and Guilio remarks "These people are creepy no?" They reach the ladder without further incident and after giving the nearest rung a speculative test Ralph lumbers upwards followed by the others.The ladder leads into a large attic space the far end is dominated by a huge pile of cushions and rugs as the Party clamber into the room Craigh spots two men standing alongside either wall they appear to be stripped to the waist and don't seem to react to their presence they just continue to stare unblinking at the pile of rugs.Thompson shouts out "Where are you Coster?" The pile of rugs and cushions moves and after a brief avalanche of cushions a beautiful naked woman crawls out swiftly followed by two other stunning women and finally a naked man is revealed still laying down amongst the furs. He smiles languidly and stretches out his arms then with a quick movement he flips himself up. He takes a step forward and the women wrap a long piece of white cloth around his waist sparing the Party at least from any more awkwardness. The tall elegant man finally speaks 'Ah Thompson our old friend it is good to see you again and in such splendid company"Thompson seems slightly shocked upon seeing his friend and at a loss for words. The Doctor steps forward "Ah hello sir my name is Doctor Thomas Norton and I along with my companions represent the Parliamentary forces currently arrayed outside against you. We have brought peace terms, generous ones I believe and we hope that you can be persuaded to sign them and end these hostilities before its too late" Coster strides forward and suddenly with a look of pure hatred across his countenance leans forwards his face mere inches away from the Doctors and suddenly kisses him lustily on the lips pulling back he hisses "We know your taste already Doctor" and under the strange chalk landscapes which cover the attics walls all hell brakes loose.The two serving men pull out wickedly sharp knives from their waist bands and hurl themselves at the Party, the women meanwhile move to the other side and with bloody mouths begin to grin coquettishly at the Party as they slowly advance upon them. Craigh grabs a nearby stool and with a grin tries to smash it into one of the men "Thes takes me back tae Friday nights back haem at th' Pig an' Whistle Inn" unfortunately the stool misses the mark and just clips the man barely slowing him down. Meanwhile Ralph lumbers up rolls up his sleeves and start punching the living hell out of the man attacking him one meaty blow after another lands on him a hit to the stomach causes an audible crack which is heard across the room and as the man bends over in pain Ralph lands a devastating upper cut knocking him out. Thompson is startled into action and rushes forward in an attempt to grapple his old friend but the near naked Coster evades him easily and just laughs at Thompson's pleas to give up. The Doctor facing the murderous women is about to pile into them but he hears sounds of movement behind him as more of Costers followers start to climb the ladder, the Doctor rushes back knowing that they can't hope to defeat a whole church full of people. One man is just about to climb off the ladder and into the attic as the Doctor charges up and without pause lands a solid punch into his face, causing him to stagger back but unfortunately not down the ladder. The Doctor cries out for help and is swiftly joined by Craigh and his stool who starts to swing it wildly around in an attempt to drive the followers back down. The melee is brutal and painful Ralph takes a lot of punishment but returns it threefold, the combination of his strength and weight making his punches land with terrible and bone crushing force. It looks pretty dark for the Party as even with Ralph there was just too many and it looked like it couldn't get any worse but then of course it did as Thompson who was still grappling with his old friend suddenly lets out a cry of pain and he staggers back clutching his now blood stained stomach.The Doctor pats the Scotchman on the back and with a crazy grin tells him "You've got this" and runs back towards the women and the pile of rugs behind them. "Ye dobber we dornt hae time fur 'at kin' ay hin' curses the Scot but has other things to worry about as he finally manages to get the trapdoor closed on the murderous horde below, but already the frame is shaking under the impact of those below the bolt bouncing in its frame. The Doctor manages to evade the women and his plan becomes clear as he starts to knock candles into the rugs causing them to smoke and burn. In passing he notices that a portion of the wall is oddly melted and has the phrase 'Gaze not' written in chalk above it. The Doctors throws a pillow at the hole but it just bounces back so with a shrug he grabs the bell rope and begins tolling away shouting at the top of his lungs "FIRE, FIRE!" in an attempt to get some Digger reinforcements. Craigh holds the trapdoor, the Doctor keeps ringing the bell and Ralph just punches the hell out of anyone near him he takes care of the men, throws the women across the room and into unconsciousness and then moves his bruised and bloody bulk towards Coster. Things looked a little brighter for the Party but the trapdoor was starting to break apart, Craigh kicks a follower in the forks and with a final spiteful kick as the follower slowly collapses calls out "Ah cannae hauld thes much longer onie ideas?" the Doctor gets an evil gleam in his one good eye and stopped ring the bell and instead grabbed the burning straw mattress and started to politely drag it across to the trapdoor.Craigh seeing the Doctor approaching guesses his crazy plan and goes to the back of the trapdoor and at the right moment pulls the bolt back and wrenches up the door as the Doctor throws the now blazing mattress down the ladder this is swiftly followed by screaming and a lot of swear words. Ralph reaches Coster who is not paying as much attention as he should be instead he is licking the blade of his bloody Dirk and laughing at the bleeding Thompson "You fool worshipper of a corpse god who cares not for you, I gave you the chance to become more to become greater but you spat the offer back into my face.....but now whose laughing?" it was at this point that Ralph tapped him on the shoulder and as Coster turned around to curse him for the interruption he landed a hay maker punch straight into Costers pale and sweaty face shattering teeth and knocking Coster out "Well that was easy enough, I wonder if there is any food around here I've worked up quite an appetite" and with a final look at the devastation he had caused ambles off to see what then others were doing. The immediate fight was over but there was still a church full of angry followers below who were baying for blood. Ralph nudged the Doctor and told him that Thompson needed looking at and the Doctor quickly went over to see what help he could give tearing strips off his shirt to act as crude bandages. Craigh and Ralph were left looking down at the horde and their feelings were summed up with one word "Bugger" but they did see some new arrivals pushing through from outside and their spirits were lifted a little when they could make out phrases like "Bucket chain" and "Get the engine" but things still looked dicey so Thompson was brought forward and spoke to the crowd especially the new arrivals "Let us pass there has been an argument but its over now so let us pass friends we don't want any more disagreements" there is some cries from the newcomers "Move aside you fools can't you see it Thompson" whilst the followers push back and shout up that they want their Messiah released first. Just then Coster regains conciseness and finding himself bound cries out "I will not be captured, I will not surrender, Xaxus is me and I'm Xaxus we are one and one is all." Ralph applies a medical slap and it seems to jolt Coster back and his eyes seem to dim and in a more normal voice which sounds shocked and horrified at the same time asks what is going on and why is he tied up and as the glow leaves his eyes the followers below seem to wake as from a dream and Their is a moment of uncertainty and embarrassment before they remember that they are in a burning building and some panic and run away whilst others join the newcomers in trying to put out the fire.The Party quickly gather up Costers notes and now that their way is clear they head towards the exit leaving the attic ablaze and to the sounds of collapsing beams. The treaty is finally cosigned by Coster with somewhat bad grace and the Party leave Thompson explaining to a slightly unbelieving Coster what he had been up to these last few days and head back to the church to make sure that all the heretical paintings and chalked writings had been destroyed. Craigh was especially interested in the strange melted hole and wanted to know why it had the phrase gaze not over it after all it was just a small hole in a wall. As the rest of the Party took down notes before hacking away any of the remaining glyphs Craigh went up to the still smouldering attic and carefully made his way across the blackened beams to the hole and then he lent down and peeked through it calling out "That's bludy odd there's jist blackness beyond" and then he disappears seemingly into the hole. The Doctor cries out "Ralph!" and he crosses over to the soot stained wall and looks around somewhat stupidly not knowing what to do. Ralph comes up and very carefully crosses over to the Doctor "Whats up Doc?" the Doctor explains what happened in a panicky voice and Ralph looks at first disbelievingly at the Doctor but seeing that he was earnest and in shock grabbed his hatchets and started to smash into the wall but to no avail the wall was smashed apart to reveal ice bound Yarmouth beyond but no sign of the Scotchman could be found. And the Party was left despairing slowly surrounded by a widening circle of celebrating Diggers and Levellers who had heard the news of the peace treaty.
  7. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    The Doctor always thought he looked a bit too fancy pants to trust fully. Also I seem to have spelt his name wrong...will I go back and correct it? hell no I'm claiming it was spelt in Olde worlde English.
  8. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Post script to the last session. Its a little more crowded at the N.M.A compound now as the reinforcements that were requested by Zeal for the lord Harrison have finally turned up. A company of foot supported by elements of the Clockwork regiment, the Leviathan Charity fresh from Norton ironworks her repairs and upgrades finally completed at long last. And a somewhat diminished Troop of Ironhorse cavalry. These were much needed as Yarmouth was still a disaster area with much of the towns infrastructure destroyed or still locked behind walls of ice. Maybe even more importantly they had also brought much needed supplies in which could help with the Digger problem as well as easing townsfolks suffering. The Party were amazed at how much was brought in as the whole county was close to famine even before being afflicted by the double hit of Blight and flood, it seems that even whilst ill Ireton could work miracles. One of the knock on effects of all the extra soldiers was that the Party have to move out of the warm and comfortable Listing Sausage Inn and relocate to the slightly less salubrious Hangman's Daughter coaching Inn.
  9. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Up and down and back again The children attack suddenly catching the Party somewhat by surprise as they slowly recover from the shock of losing all their weapons. The children leap at the Party clawing and biting for all that they are worth the crystals making it difficult for the Party to grapple them. The fight is intense but slowly the children are battered by the Parties pistol butts and in Ralph's case his short clubs but they take some nasty injuries in return. As the last child is eventually battered to the ground in a broken heap the Party look around and quickly decide that moving away from the large pile of bleeding and broken children as quickly as possible would be a very good thing. The Party quickly get back to exploring the numerous tunnels that led away from the recessed button. As the Party explore they notice that the temperature slowly rises and a strong humming sound can be now heard the Party pause to try and get a bearing but the noise seems to be coming from all around so the Party is back to guessing which direction to head in and passageways are picked almost at random. Then suddenly there is a taste of ozone and lightning crackles down the tunnels and the Party get zapped by it luckily it only seems to make them short of breath and so casting worried glances at each other they quickly pick a westerly tunnel and hurry down it. The tunnel ends at a large pool of steaming blue goo, the room is spanned by a slender stone bridge which is partially obscured by the thick steam clouds which fill the room. Condensation from the roof also drips down hissing as it hits the boiling goo and making the bridge even trickier to cross. The Doctor removes his boots and socks and then begins to cross the bridge slowly making his way across panting all the way as he still struggled with the after effects of the lightning, worryingly he had also soaked his socks with water from his canteen and was wearing them as some sort of slightly whiffy bandanna. Criagh is next up and with a criminals grace he quickly scoots across the bridge and safely makes it across. Ralph stomps up and giving the bridge a worried look decides to run across the bridge he almost makes it across but a large bubble appears in the boiling blue goo it expands and then pops showering Ralph in boiling goo which causes him to lose his footing and with a mighty splash he falls into the goo. Luckily Ralph quickly pops up, screams and with his skin blistering he quickly doggy paddles across and is pulled up by the others.This just leaves Giulio to cross and he shrugs his shoulders and takes a few steps back then just runs across making it look easy. The Doctor calls for a rest as with a sigh he puts down his medical chest and gets out the jars of containing the greases of bears, hen and capon, oil of lilies and egg yolks he also gets out his big scrapper and Mr Bitey his favourite set of Fleam blades. After their brief pause they got ready to move out again back into the twisting labyrinth but just then they hear the sound of feet running down the right hand side tunnel "Fuckin heel its mair naked kids " cries out the very worried sounding Scot but the horde just runs past them splitting aside like a wave past the group and continue into the goo room where they charge across the bridge one or two falling into the boiling goo beneath never to be seen again. The Party move quickly away and soon leave the goo room behind them after travelling for awhile encountering nothing of note they find themselves back in the second chamber it appears that they have gone around in a huge circle. The Party feel a little annoyed that they are no closer to getting out but after sealing the door behind them to stop any more children getting into the section of tunnels that they were now in the Party retrace their steps and at the first junction take another direction. More time passes as the by now completely lost Party walk up and down and possibly under numerous tunnels, past numerous dead ends and stairwells until they get to a strobing tunnel which causes them to pause as they try to figure out what the hell it is. They decide that it looks a bit dangerous so the try to back up and pick another tunnel but things seem to be changing behind them so they turn back to the strobing corridor. Craigh looks around and finds a button which might be the same button that Giulio pressed but with the tunnels being all sneaky it was hard to tell. The Party starts to mark their passage a little late maybe but better late then never. They carry on and around twenty minutes of more walking down increasingly sneaky tunnels they finally come out in a chamber which holds a bizarre sight, a large bottle containing the most exquisite model of a Spanish galleon rests upon a wooden stand a plaque is pinned to the stand which reads "Data bank express log consoles rethink" this causes a lot of confused looks amongst the party. The ship seems to have a tiny crew modelled and looking closely they can make out the ships name which is the San Phillipe, again this means nothing to the Party. The Doctor picks up the bottle and shakes it around a bit causing the modelled crew to splat against the glass oddly leaving tiny bloody smears, shrugging the Doctor returns it to the wooden stand with a shrug. Craigh walks over and picks up the bottle and with a brief look stuffs it into one of his bags "Awright it micht be worth a shilling or twa" Guilio gives the room one final look around and seeing nothing he calls out that its time to leave and heads towards the door in the south, the rest of the Party hitch up their gear and follow him out. The thrumming feeling continues and Craigh pushes forward to scout the way ahead through this twisting , thrumming labyrinth the corridors soon lead to familiar looking areas. They do eventually spy four Crystal children heading down a corridor in the distance and they decide to follow them in the hope that they know the way out and so following them down a series of corridors until they finally reach a T section and then head eastwards. This corridor opens up into a vast chamber which has a huge blue coloured crystal hanging down from the ceiling. The children stop and arrange themselves in cardinal points around this crystal which upon closer inspection seems to have various coloured crystals embedded within it. The Party move closer, the Doctor pulls out his disc whilst the others keep a watchful eye on the crystal children who still show no signs of even knowing that the Party is even with them. The Party come up with a complicated plan and crouching down low with both discs on the correctly coloured crystals (Clear and Purple) they join hands and on the count of three the two crystals are pulled and then there is a snap, blackness and a feeling of falling and the Party find themselves back on the causeway next to the unconscious bodies of Zeal and the soldier and the barrier seems to be gone. When they shake of their shock they are whole but the crystals are gone and on the body of Zeal they find a leather tube which contains a scroll. The Scroll is from Claymon and congratulates us for a job well done and that he had to rush off to finish something else and that he is sorry that he had to knock out Zeal and the soldier as they were becoming a little to militant And oh he cant guarantee the structural integrity of the palace and the surrounding area. There is a strange postscript about the Paladins of the Fall something about them being good guys if a little odd. The writing fades as soon as it is read which the Doctor finds slightly annoying as it would help explain things to Zeal when he wakes up, which he does after a few slaps. There is an awkward conversation as Zeal asks questions whilst the rest of the Party quickly move off the causeway. The bubbling pools around the palace begin to clear exposing numerous bodies of crystal children floating within the depths. Finally Zeal gets his act together and gesturing to his bodyguard he hurries after the rest of the Party. The Party retrace their steps back across the causeway and into the jungle and are almost at the raft when from out of the jungle the Paladin rides out and hails them. The Paladin seems confused over why Claymon is not with them and when the Party explains what happened inside the palace the Paladin still seems a little annoyed over Claymons actions but hopeful that the plan seems to have worked and that the Paladins long watch is finally over. He wishes the Party a safe journey and spurs his strange riding beast onwards to check out the palace himself. The Party reach the the raft without any further incident and row across the now non-glowing lagoon and finally meet up with the other survivors at pinnacle base. It was a bittersweet reunion as the worthy Sergeant May had succumbed to his wounds and had died the previous night. Zeal was distraught and for awhile just held Mays body and left the others without orders and in a slightly embarrassed silence. After an hour or so he recovered enough to start giving orders, the plan was to gather up the bare necessities, May and Bartlett and head out across the ice and back towards Yarmouth. The Party head out and make slow going across the ice and are soon fatigued and barely making any progress and Zeal looking at his map decides that we should head towards the trapped ship and rest up there for the night and try again in the morning. They reach the trapped ship and get some fires started for much needed warmth. Ralph feeling less tired quickly scouts around and noticing that some things seem to have been moved around since their last visit decides to have a closer look at the ground around the ship and finds some disturbing tracks which seem to head towards Yarmouth, it seems they were not the only ones to escape from the damned Island. A thoughtful Ralph pulls his coat tighter around himself and heads back inside to tell the others. After a hasty breakfast of cold porridge the Party gear up and head back towards home. The weather also seems to be changing rapidly the strange clouds seem to be almost gone and the sun seems warmer on their backs, which whilst a welcome relief and potentially life saving is also a little worrying especially to say anyone crossing a frozen sea. Luckily the Party eventually make it back to Yarmouth with the increasingly large noise of Ice cracking underfoot providing a much needed spur to their speed. Reaching the docks they quickly head towards the N.M.A compound which is centred on the Listing Sausage Inn where they were greeted with some disbelief but allowed back in. Zeal quickly gives some orders and heads off to get debriefed, the Party find bunks, arrange for hot food and supplies, write up their reports and finally get some much needed R&R. Well that is apart from Craigh who sadly finding that the N.M.A stores don't have crossbows in there inventory as standard decides to head out into the ice blasted ruins of Yarmouth in search of an open shop. He finds a large but ragged tent with a sign hanging forlornly outside that somewhat unbelievably claims that its in fact a Hunting goods store so with a shrug Craigh heads in. Inside the tent he finds the tent full of boxes and crates and a man behind a makeshift counter who is warming his hands by a brazier. There is a discussion where the shop owner shows Craigh a variety of crossbows but Craigh is shocked at the prices and then after a unsuccessful haggling attempt he decides to fall back on old habits and does a more successful robbery. As he legs it from the shop with his hot crossbow he feels that he is being watched and after ducking and diving down various alleyways he quickly jumps behind a gong pile and waits. A cloaked figure which seems oddly feminine soon appears at the mouth of the alleyway and seeing nothing but a huge pile of semi frozen gong quickly hurries past. The wily Scot counts to ten and lets out a breath " That wis feckin odd, bit then again a'm a guid keekin jimmy 'n' a hero tae boot" with a leer the Scot heads back to the N.M.A compound but a little slower now and with a lot of odd pauses.
  10. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Part two,Really important questions are asked and yet no one mentions swallows.We return to the surprisingly gory adventure as the bloody body of Roger Keely previously of the New Model Army staggers and finally flops to the floor.As the body hits the floor the crystal child who was shadowing him looks at it for a moment and then silently heads into the slime wall, slowly eaten away by it until nothing of him remains. This only adds to the sense of shocked horror that now pervades the room the silence lasted a few more heartbeats until complete pandemonium breaks out, everyone starts shouting at once and some crazy accusations also ring out, There followed several tense moments until things settled down and people recovered from their initial shock, Ralph explained his actions and the Doctor came up with a slightly less scary explanation for the dissolving child it was very technical but basically boiled down to the old reverse bread and fishes routine. The Party had a heart to heart discussion with Jan Southforth the last remaining N.M.A soldier who had jumped with them and eventually the consensus is that Rodger was a git and was asking for it and so we will never mention it again........understand?The Party had solved the mystery of where the Crystal children were coming from but after a lot of poking and prodding they were unable to stop them appearing. The Party finally decide that there is nothing further they can do or learn so head back into the corridors. After picking a westerly course and exploring a few more bare dusty corridors some of which have small slithers of crystal sticking out from the floors and walls these crystals provide an unsettling half light that causes strange shadows to flicker in and out of view but eventually the unnerved Party come across another strange chamber, this one is hexagon in shape and is dominated by a large stand upon which rests a strange musical instrument it looks like an eight sided triangle and from a crystal hook a small brass beater hangs. Three further corridors lead out from this chamber, one has a clear light coming from it, the other has a purple glow and the final corridor has a slightly sinister red glow emanating from it much like the glow that came from the birthing corridor. Giulio sneaks ahead and scouts out the other tunnels he quickly returns and tells the Party that the strange light seems to be coming from large crystals (7 feet high and roughly 4 feet wide) which grow out of the floor. the Doctor heads towards the clear crystal eager to see if it is the crystal they need to remove as he gets closer he is shocked to see what looks to be a man trapped within its depths and images of war behind him that he seems to interact with. The Doctor seems a little lost and unsure of himself but after a moments thought he pulls out his disc and sees if it reacts to the crystal, unfortunately it doesn't so he gives the crystal a spiteful kick but it fails to even rock the crystal he turns away from the ghostly figure and heads back to the chamber explaining to the others that it didn't seem to be the right crystal after all. Ralph meanwhile had been checking out the strange triangle and with a shrug he tries to hand it off to one of the crystal children, in fact he tries to hand it off to the child he had previously marked with a triangle but the child remains still and the triangle merely falls to the floor. Ralph sighs "I thought I had figured this out, never mind if you want a job done right you have to do it yourself" he then strikes the strange instrument with the beater, it now rings out clear and strong the note echoing weirdly within the confines of the chamber. Then the opposite wall lifts up suddenly revealing a sheet of clear crystal upon which a distorted ladies face forms."oh bludy heel noo whit?" asks the melancholy Scot as the strange lady begins to talk but apparently its via some form of magic as the voice is only heard within the Parties minds. "Sacrifice will be demanded Trans-Arcana penetration has started, state your case why the universe will benefit from your continued existence. I will consider your answers and delete the least worthy of you." Ralph shrugs wipes his hands down the side of his trousers and steps forward "Er wobbly lady my name is Ralph and I am willing to sacrifice my own life to make things better if needed, I have spoken to Zeal for the lord Harrison and through him I have made my peace with the Almighty" The face distorts even more for a moment and the voice replies "Your answer has been received, who will go next?"The Doctor walks past Ralph giving him a slightly awe struck look and then lays prostrate before the face and then he launches into a long winded speech about the various benefits that mankind has and that their journey to be worthy of the Almighty is a worthwhile one as we become better and better with each step creating more wondrous art and discovering the wonders of the world and each new artistic endeavour, each new scientific discovery brings us towards true understanding. The face again distorts "Answer has been received"Giulio takes a deep breath and puffing out his chest he loudly declares "Hey whatta youse mean? We no beg before a wobbly face, we are conquers, we are gods. Maybe small ones at the moment but gods nevertheless" The face seems to smile or was it a smirk then it repeats its mantra of answer received. "I need one more answer before judgement" with that Jan cries out " Hey feck you its an easy answer we are men of Norfolk and so we are the best there is" the face shudders and in a somewhat disturbingly sexy voice "Answers recorded sacrifice will be taken Trans-Arcana penetration will continue" and with that a beam of light blazes out from her eyes and sears Jan to ash. The face fades away and with a head splitting pop the voice also falls silent within the Parties heads. Cue screaming and panicking most of the Party quickly moves away from the pile of smoking ash and quickly heads off towards the west casting fearful glances behind them. A lot of "What the feck was that?" and "Can we nae gie th' heel it ay haur?" could also be heard coming from various Party members.The Doctor however remained in the chamber nowvweeping openly, he seemed to be trying to ring the strange hex angle triangle thing again and could be heard calling out "Please come back we can do better....how about best out of three?" but nothing reappears and Giulio has to call back to him to get him moving.The others had been stopped by one of the few doors that occasionally appeared seemingly at random within the palace by the time the Doctor finally bustles up behind them Giulio looking at the Doctor said "finally" and he pulls open the door. The room beyond was small and had more passages leading off from it the room itself had a fog or mist inside which hung low to the ground but weirdly didn't seem to flow out or even move when the door was opened. The Party turned to the crystal children and almost as one they grabbed the nearest and threw him in and watched to see what would happen. He staggered a little but seemed unaffected by the mist not even coughing he just turned and looked at the Party blankly. So looking like it was clear the others entered the mist. It just seemed to be just an odd mist so they quickly pick the south passage and continue onwards. Looking back Craigh sees that the room they had just left has disappeared leaving only a blank wall behind them "Weel that's buggered things up Ah reckon och weel forwards it is 'en." he then breaks out into a wee jog to catch up with the others.After travelling for awhile going up and down a variety of corridors the party come across another small room where a head sized twelve sided object seems to float five feet off the floor within a column of calming bluish light, the Doctor calls out "Hey its a calming blue light, I think its safe to rest here for a moment, you know so I can check on the bandages and reapply some more goose and horse ointment.So the Doctor gets his medical chest open but as the others enter the glow quickly changes to an angry pulsing red and the calm feeling is quickly replaced with a feeling of rage and anger.A figure then slowly forms in front of the Party, somehow forming itself out of the red pulsing light as it becomes more solid it looks to be similar to the mythical Greek Minotaur but instead of a bulls head it has the head of a mighty stag. It bellows and lashes out with its cloven hooves and with great swishes of its antlered head roaring out a challenging bellow. Most of the Party manages to avoid its blows but Ralph being a bit on the large side gets clipped by one cloven hoof and staggers back in pain. Giulio though reacts with commendable speed and quickly has his musket up and aimed he fires into the beast the shot striking it cleanly in its chest which unfortunately just seems to annoy it even more.Ralph still staggering a little swipes at the beast with his hatchets but fails to hit the madly swaying beast but fortunately does force it into the sights of the Doctors Donderbus which with a loud bang fires a cloud of shot and burnt gunpowder. The Beast roars and collapses with a final terrible squeal its now missing a very large and important part of its head. The Doctors looks at the smoking Donderbus then at the Beast and with a huge stupid smile plastered over his face starts to yell "Yeeeees I new I could do it, in your face devil monster" the others ignore his fist pumping as they are more interested in the object which goes back to a calming blue but soon hints of red appear again so the party hurry past it and into the corridors beyond.When at a safe distance they take a quick break to grab more food and water, reload their weapons and for the Doctor to try to reseal their numerous wounds...again. After the break the bruised and battered Party get up and decide to take the North passageway which soon twists away to the west, this passageway ends at a wall which has a silver button recessed into it. The Party look around to see if their are any signs of what the button may do and seeing nothing odd Giulio presses the button which apart from changing colour doesn't seem to do anything. Giulio looks around shrugs and pushes it again "Hey maybe itsa stuck" the button then changes to the colour of steel and again nothing seems to happen he shrugs again the rest of the Party though start to worriedly approach Giulio with their hands outstretched but Giulio hits the button again which unfortunately does do something this time as most of the metal on the Players suddenly turns to rust which falls away leaving a reddish trail behind them. The Party seeing this erupts in horror as most of their weapons are now useless and Ralph stops looks at Giulio with murderous intent and says "My feckin hatchets...... MY FECKIN HATCHETS!!!" but luckily for Giulio the crystal children decide that this is the perfect time to launch an attack.
  11. Clockwork & Cthulhu; a revised look.

    It would be great to have Arthur the Ball breaker back. P.S Damn it I've just finished building the Cake signal as well, those searchlights are the very devil to get on Ebay you know.
  12. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Are you sure we can't persuade you to add ladies in sexy red dresses?
  13. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    Did the Doctor miss the bit with the sexy lady in red? And more importantly why is she not dancing with me now damn it.
  14. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    In the Pale Ladies kingdom the children of the crystal gather. Warning there is a lot of clone(ish) children meeting a variety of unpleasant endings in this write up. With a sizzle and a loud snap the barrier closes behind the CL.U.Bers cutting them off from the swamp, Zeal, Claymon Morrow and indeed England as they knew it. The CL.U.Bers were not entirely on their own though as two soldiers had been ordered to make the jump with them but the CL.U.Bers were not entirely sure if the soldiers were there to aid them or just to keep an eye on them. The Party could now see the palace of the Pale lady clearly now as it was now unimpeded by the distortion of the barrier and what a palace it was, a huge grey monolithic tower dripping with condensation and which leaned menacingly over the Party soon casting them into deep shadow. After adjusting their weapons and the rest of their equipment they moved towards the palaces single dark opening which lay ahead of them as they reached the empty opening they stopped and hearing nothing opened their packs and pulled out a variety of lanterns and candles there was an awkward moment when the flints struggled to spark but after some fiddling around a spark was brought forth and the lanterns were finally lit. So now with no excuse to further delay they entered the forbidding entrance and almost immediately were hit by the sudden jump in temperature the air became moist and damp the Parties clothing quickly becoming sodden. The walls were formed of large stone blocks which appeared unmarked by anything neither tool mark or decoration could be seen discerned and so they only added to the feeling of gloom that the Party were starting to feel pretty strongly. After a fairly short walk a faint purple glow could be seen coming from somewhere ahead and pulling out pistols and grabbing sword hilts the party edged forwards. They end up in a room which has three corridors leading off from it but the thing that grabs the attention of the Party is the huge and faintly glowing crystal which seems bizarrely embedded into the bottom of a small crater, bizarrely because the vaulted roof above is intact and showed no signs of damage or repair so how did the crystal get there? The Party nervously search the area before swinging back to the elephant in the room that was the crystal, could it be this easy a short walk and the crystal was there just sitting in the first room? of course it wasn't the crystal was on closer inspection more blueish in hue than purple and seemed to be solidly buried into the floor. The Doctor even got out his disc and tried to stick it onto the crystal but it wouldn't attach nor did it change so it seemed that the party wouldn't be that lucky after all. Ralph decided to attempt a more brute force approach to the problem and slammed his hatchets into the crystal but apart from a few sparks, nothing not even a sliver of crystal fell away. The Party somewhat disheartened looked back towards the entrance and though they could see a small square of grey daylight the barrier hid anything beyond so left with little choice they decide to head forwards taking the corridor leading northwards as the other two corridors gave off a hellish red glow and though nothing was said the Party as one decided to give them a wide berth for now. No tracks disturbed the damp filthy floor not even those of animals and still the Palace was as silent as a tomb the Parties strangely echoing footsteps the only sound to be heard. The short corridor led into another chamber which was somewhat similar to the first but this one had a crystal that was on a plinth and was more like a honeycomb as it had numerous holes bored through its surface, all different in shape, size and angle. Some of these holes had crystal rods inserted into them and it all together they gave off a most disturbing glow the colours swirling and ever changing. The Doctor approaches the plinth rubbing his head at the temples absently and reaches out for one of the crystal rods and carefully pulls it out....nothing seems to change the plinth still pulses with colours and everything else seems the same that is until Giulio opens his mouth to speak and instead of the heavily accented English everyone had grown to if not love then at least to tolerate he instead lets out a burbled mish mash of hell speak "Mitä olet tehnyt nyt olet Daft sod... roikkua, että ei kuulosta oikealta?" or Finnish as its otherwise known as. This was not the full extent of the horror as both Ralph and the Doctor also found themselves now unable to speak the holiest and most beautiful of languages and instead jabbered away in foreign there then followed several minutes of desperate action as numerous crystal rods were pulled out and shoved back into the plinth the Doctor was by now openly in tears as he realised that for several moments he had been speaking FRENCH crying out "Non, s'il vous plaît Dieu rien que cela" almost at the point of collapse the Doctor twisted a slender slightly grey rod back into the plinth and thankfully the next words heard was an earthy, homely and more importantly English profanity. Unfortunately Giulio was........well still Italian so he still spoke with a heavy accent so it wasn't a total win. And after the silence that followed the joyous celebrations of the return of English the sound of tiny feet slapping against soggy flooring could be heard coming from behind the Party from the direction of the first chamber Ralph swung his lantern across and in its flickering light a pale small figure of a naked child could be barely seen. Ralph took a few steps forward as the child seemed to be injured, its movements oddly stiff and ungainly but with those few steps more Ralph could make out more details and as he got closer he was horrified because as the child turned his head to stare up at him an explosion of purple lights shone back from its face as the crystals embedded within reflected the lantern light back at him. The strange child was deathly quiet and when it got around three feet away from Ralph it stopped suddenly and just stared at him never saying a word or muttering a sound. Quickly calling over the rest of the Party Ralph simply pointed at the child and quietly asked "What the feck is that?" the child could not be made to speak even after the Doctor performed a little Panto involving gently talking to the child and showing it various things from his pack and seeing if they got a reaction but the child just kept staring at Ralph and ignored the Bible, the various Parliamentarian tracts and even the emergency wheel of Cheshire cheese which was a little on the smelly side by this point. Ralph started to poke the child and with each poke murmured "Quit it" the child rocked back a little but remained silent and just stared at Ralph "Very odd it must be a feral child of some sort who has been changed by the Pale lady remember she had children farming flowers at that last place". The Doctor warming to the theme continued "And since he's feral it follows that he doesn't know how to communicate with normal folk" he also added that he had heard that in the Americas there were whole tribes of such people who had been lost in that countries vast wilderness and so over time had lost all semblance of Godly civilisation. Then just as they were giving up on the strange child and just ignore him the pitter patter of more feet could be heard and suddenly more children appeared each one bearing the crystal stigmata. Giulio looked around as five more of the silent children now stood in the room each one standing in front of one of the Party. "What the hell is going on, why won't they speak?" asked the now worried Giulio Ralph a thoughtful look crossing his face as he slowly started to walk away heading back towards the first chamber and after a brief pause the child who had attached himself to Ralph swiftly followed. The others were still trying to make sense of what they had found so far and arguing about the best course of action concerning the children and their quest and so failed to really notice Ralph slip away. Ralph walked back down the corridor and hearing the sound of naked feet behind him smiled and he headed behind the large crystal embedded in the floor, the child followed its crystals reflecting back the larger ones strange glow giving the child's features a demonic cast. Ralph quickly checked to see that the child was alone and that the large crystal blocked the view if the others enacted his plan with barely a pause, he smashed his hatchet into the child's chest cracking through meat and bone breaking ribs and splitting organs the child said nothing it barely reacted to the mortal blow but as Ralph twisted the hatchet out creating a huge bloody hole in the child's torso the child finally spoke and in dry dull tone it cried out "The Void, the void I can see the void" Ralph panicked and tried to stop the child's scary monotone before he got caught and had to answer some awkward questions but as he placed one meaty paw across the child's blood splattered face the child let out one last sigh and collapsed onto Ralph and then slowly slid down onto the floor leaving a trail of gore down Ralph's front "Bugger, there goes that plan" Wiping off the worst of the gore he heads back to the others who were just realising that he had disappeared they were horrified to see him walk out of the corridor covered in blood especially when they figured out what he had done. The mood wasn't helped by the other remaining children who just turned and stared silently at Ralph but displayed no emotion. In the awkward silence that followed the pitter-patter of bare feet could be heard again coming from the tunnel behind and soon another identical crystal child appeared, it walked up towards Ralph and again stopped in front of him and starred blankly up and into Ralph's increasingly annoyed looking face. "Feck that's it that's the last bleeding straw" Ralph pulled a length of twine off his belt with one hand whilst smacking the child hard across the face with the other causing it to stagger and fall. Ralph quickly hogged tied the child who bizarrely made no protest at this rough treatment not even a whimper, "Lets see you follow me around now you creepy little fart" he then stomped away heading towards one of the other tunnels. The others still looking slightly shocked watched him go and then as one turned to look at the bound child who with no expression on its face started to wiggle and twist and slowly oh so slowly start to crawl after Ralph who hearing something also looked back and seeing the child wiggling after him went absolutely berserk "No way you feckin git" and he pulled out one of his bloody hatchets and started to stride towards the crawling child. The Doctor leaps forward throwing out a protective arm "Run children, Uncle Ralph is very upset" but the crystal children just silently watched as Ralph shoved the Doctor aside and brought down his hatchet with blistering speed straight into crawlies head and stopping him dead, Giulio speaking quickly in Italian stepped up and managed to drag Ralph off before he entered full berserk mode. The Doctor quickly got over his shock at this turn of events and scuttled towards the dead child his crystal companion close behind "Well it can't be said I won't look a gift horse in the mouth" and he quickly set down his medical case and started to pull out blade and saw "Lets see what you are made of shall we" and with his crystal child looking on the Doctor got to work.The others stood away and even Ralph decided that this was too gruesome to watch and shaking off Giulio he stomped over to a corner to grab a hasty meal of hardtack and brackish water. Sighing Giulio gave a shrug and walked back to the crystal altar and began examining it from every angle the Italian engineer trying to figure out how it could possibly work he could occasionally be heard muttering something in Italian all the while watched by his crystal child. The Doctor was soon finished with Crawlie and went to work on the other corpse and when done with that one he thoughtfully washed the blood off his hands dried them and quickly jotted down his findings in his little black book and when everything was neatly back in his case he headed off to find the others. "Amazing truly amazing those children are unnatural of course, the fact that they are identical in appearance inside and out proves this. The strange crystal seems to infest much of their bodies growing out of their very bones and then piercing through their flesh why I even found signs of crystal growth within their hearts. I think these are some sort of Golem but why make them children I can not for the life of me fathom" The Doctors monologue was interrupted by Giulio who asked "That's all very well and good Doctor and on the plus side I suppose it means Ralph here won't be going to hell after all but does it tell us where we need to go? does it help us in any real way? The Doctor looked a bit crestfallen and replied that no it didn't but it was jolly interesting nonetheless . He then moved to one of the doors leading out from the chamber calling back to the Italian "If a direction is needed why not this one?" his crystal child suddenly darted ahead of him and stood in front of the door he then reaches past the silent child and tries to pull the door open "A little help here gentleman please this door appears slightly....." he doesn't finish as the door suddenly slams open throwing him to one side and sprawling onto the floor from out of the now open doorway a gust of foul smelling air escapes, smelling of death, corruption and human waste. The others head towards the doorway coughing and spluttering in the suddenly befouled air. Ralph who had headed over slightly earlier to help the Doctor open the doors and so was slightly in front was the first to see the figure stagger out of the now revealed corridor behind the doors. It was another child but this one was much more unnatural in its appearance. The crystals that covered this child were jagged and broken and they glowed with a sickly green light and more worryingly for the Doctor who was staring up at it from the floor the child's hands appeared to have changed into crystal spikes. "Ahhh bloody hell" went the Doctor "Die" shouted Ralph as he charged the child the others just sighed and readied their weapons. The child looked at the Doctor then turned and with amazing speed leaps at Ralph's charging bulk, its leap carried it over Ralph and his initial hatchet swing and in return those crystal spikes open up a red ruin on Ralph's back as they easily sliced through his Buff coat and into the pale wobbly flesh beneath. Giulio swings his clockwork arm up and fires off his saw blade which strikes the child solidly in the chest knocking it off Ralph's back in a welter of reddish sparkling blood. The child quickly rolls back onto its feet and leaps back into the fray the saw blade still embedded deeply amongst the crystal growths on its chest. Both Ralph and the Doctor struggle to engage the swiftly moving child and barely avoid its crystal spikes in return. The two soldiers their muskets already raised fire but oddly they manage to completely miss the child but barely miss Ralph. Hearing the shot whistle past his head Ralph turns and the soldiers wave back and smiling mouth sorry to him this causes a now worried Ralph to rethink some of his previous actions, especially the one where he snitched on those two soldiers in particular about their looting but before he can act another misshapen monstrosity staggers out this one covered in mucus like slime and shuffles over to join in the fight. The other crystal children again do nothing neither hindering nor helping they just continue silently watch the fight unfolding before them. The mucus covered child turns and looks at the approaching Italian who now holds a pistol in his hand mucus boy starts to snort and gurgle and with a hacking sound launches a mass of oily snot at Giulio luckily he sees it in time and with a horrified look upon his face desperately twists aside as the scarily hissing ball of mucus and bile flies past and lands with a splat behind him. The Doctor hears more movement from behind him but he is unable to see anything so he decides to aim his Donderbus at Mucus boy and fires, the Donderbus belches out a great gout of flame but the shot misses its intended target. The Doctor does buy time for Giulio to re-aim his pistol and drawing a bead on Mucus boy he fires but the child seems blessed as again the shot goes wide. Mucus swings away from the prone Doctor and swipes at Giulio whose desperate parry fails to deflect the terrible blow and so he takes several nasty cuts to his upper chest his armour absorbing some of the terrible force behind the blow. The other child re-launches his attack on the now hard pressed Ralph who barely manages to block several blows with the haft of his hatchet. Ralph then weirdly drops the hatchet which is blocking the child's attack causing the child to misjudge its next swing and with bulk defying precision Ralph twists and turns ending up inside the child's reach he grabs the child in a tight bear hug the crystals scrapping down his armour before he twisting to one side and launching the child with terrible force into the nearby wall, there is a loud crack and a wet splat noise as the child's head splits open upon the corner of the wall and the child falls to the floor unconscious if not indeed dead. Ralph wipes his hands with a satisfied grunt. The source of the sounds heard earlier by the Doctor is finally revealed as one last horror child staggers out of the foul smelling corridor and glares around him its eyes showing the madness within this child is covered with sharp bone like blades and his fingers terminate in long jagged claws as well. The Doctor sees the child girds his loins and jumping up pulls out his sword with a flourish and charges towards the child but apart from his impressive war cry its all a bit disappointing really as he somehow misses the child and instead charges past it. The slightly confused child swings out at the passing Doctor the blow catching him in the leg causing him to stagger and fall again onto the floor. Giulio meanwhile continues to hack away at Mucus boy having dropped his spent pistol now wields his mighty telescopic one handed Glaive,TM his powerful blows causing Mucus boy to give ground. Ralph moves to the still form of spiky and grabbing a handful of bloodied hair he violently slams the child's head into the stone floor several times until he is basically holding a ball of bloodied meat in his hands with one last kick into the child's stomach just to make sure Ralph lumbers off to save his cousin the Doctor. Ralph pulls out both hatchets and with the child's back to him he buries both of them deeply into the child but the child refuses to drop instead it spins around and lashes out at Ralph catching him a glancing blow with a bony backhand which causes several cuts to open up. Ralph is now bleeding quite heavily from the numerous small cuts and his breathing has also become increasingly laboured its not looking too good for these two. Giulio thrusts his Glaive forward with a sharp twist and the glaive bites deeply into the child's chest splintering past the ribcage. Mucus boy gurgles and tries to hawk up one last blob of snotty acid but instead he ends up in a coughing fit he then slides stickily off the glove and onto the floor and with a last popping noise dies as he bleeds out. Ralph and the Doctor are rescued by the two soldiers who after giving up on reloading their muskets charge into combat with their cheap but still sharp swords and with their help the last monster child is finally brought down. Everyone looks around checking if any more horrors are about to stagger out and seeing no further movement a collective breath is let out. "Gadzooks that was damned close" says the Doctor nodding his thanks to the soldiers and looking at Ralph bloodied form sighs "It looks like I'm going to have to use the all the big bandages and most of the ointment up on you cousin" Ralph shuffles a bit and gruffly replies "Well maybe next time I won't help you and maybe then you will learn to hit what you aim at" he pauses and in a lower tone asks if he could have the bandages with the little blue ducks on them as he tells the Doctor he likes them as they are fluffy and taste nice. Everyone agrees that a rest is needed before they go exploring any further so the Doctor gets busy with his bandages and sewing needles whilst the others clear away the bodies before collapsing onto the floor and grabbing some much needed food and water. After an hour or so a well bandaged Ralph staggers to his feet and with a shrewd look in his eyes heads towards his crystal kid and with a meaty finger jabs the child in the chest "I want to know where you came from me old mucker" again the child remains silent just watching him and the rest of the party "Right, have it your own way don't say I didn't warn you" and with that he slices open the child's throat and before the child has even hit the floor Ralph's moving back the way we came. The rest of the party swearing gather up their equipment and mutter that maybe Ralph is mad and who should get the job of putting him down. Ralph's voice echo's back from the darkness "Ah ha I thought so" there is a sound of meat meeting metal and a thud. The Party follows Ralph and the childish cries of "The void the void I can see the void " Ralph seems to be making his own trail by killing a child then moving forward a little until meeting its replacement killing that and repeating the whole cycle over again but always moving forwards hopefully getting a little closer to the source of the crystal children with each death. As crazy bloodthirsty plans went it wasn't half bad and after several crystal children had met their end by bumping into Uncle Ralph and his shiny hatchets the Party ends up going past the first chamber and down one of the initially ignored side corridors where they come across a weird sight. The corridor ends in a wall which seemed to be covered in a thick redly glowing slime of some sort and it was from behind this slime that the children seemed to be coming and when needed they slithered out when needed. This was demonstrated by Ralph as he filled the Party in with what he had found and then hacked a child down to join the one already on the floor. "See look into the slime you can already see another child forming" The Party looked deeply within the slime and in the hellish red glow a hideous sight could be seen in the slime depths. It started with an outline of a small figure which slowly filled up veins, bones, organs and finally the flesh. it seems the Doctor was right as crystals could be clearly seen growing along with the bones and organs. For the Doctor this was a wondrous experience seeing a human body forming in front of his very eyes he just wished it was a little slower and he had time to take some sketches. Craigh a look of horror on his dirty face suddenly backs away and cries out "Its ungodly! thes is th' devils wark only th' laird can create life thes is naethin' but an unholy abomination" this breaks the spell and the Party react with commendable puritan passion and pulling out swords, hatchets and pistols they attempt to destroy the slime. Unfortunately nothing seems to damage it enough to stop the process even fire has little effect. Ralph getting bored starts staring at the soldiers who naturally take offence at the look that Ralph is giving them and brusquely demand to know what he is thinking to which Ralph replies rather mysteriously "I don't think" which really seems to upset Rodger "Yeah its that lack of thinking that made you rat us out to Zeal I reckon, we lost over a months pay handing back those shields and what gewgaws. In fact I think I will take my payment now" and he draws his sword. The Doctor tries to persuade him that he's making a foolish mistake but Rodgers dander is up and he wont change his mind. He pushes the Doctor aside with a snarl points at Ralph and growls out "Hey big man you're claimed" before launching himself at the still unmoving Ralph. As Rodger charged towards Ralph he may have wondered if he may have made a mistake as Ralph just seemed to stand there as still and seemingly uncaring as a statue with one meaty paw resting on the head of his woodsman's axe. Only when it looked like Rodger was going to gut him did Ralph move and when he moved he moved fast, moving side on to Rodger and with one smooth action the axe was pulled out of his belt and swiftly back down again with terrible precision removing Rodgers head in one clean blow. As Rodgers body continued past for a few more steps as his head splattered onto the floor Ralph turned to the other soldier and asked very casual like if there was still a problem, the soldier very wisely and quietly said "Nope" Part two later and yay we made it to page four at last.
  15. 'Lamentations of the Cthulhu & Chivalry' Campaign

    I'm getting old and the nurse has hidden my typewriter again.
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