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American History if a Gloranthan Had Written It


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Take a look at this gloriously crazy 19th century Japanese textbook on American history. There is something profoundly Gloranthan about it. George Washington and his patron goddess America! Benjamin Franklin carrying a cannon! John Adams fighting not one but two evil giant snakes! Adams making a deal with a mountain spirit in order to gain the aid of a giant eagle! Here's the full Twitter thread


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That's amazing.

Not that American history isn't already quite mythologized (Both Washington and Lincoln have some very "folk-hero" and "culture hero" stories to them), but it usually has a distinct lack of straight up mythical monsters and deities (except the largely allegorical Columbia manifesting all that destiny over the place) which this text evidently rectifies.

Now, someone please make this an actual, straight-faced manga. I will buy it. How will the bromance-rivalry between Benjamin "Big Boy" Franklin, and John Adams the Serpentslayer turn out?!

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The who serpent saga with John Adams is pretty interesting. It must be the same serpent that Benjamin Franklin formed out of component parts. Presumably Franklin's huge serpent then turned out to be more than Adams could handle, and it ate his mother. Lucky that the Mountain Witch knew how to summon the great Eagle spirit, which is now the wyter of America.

join or die.png


Edit: Of course, Franklin and Adams did find themselves at odds. When they were sharing a bed, Franklin insisted in opening the windows at night, which caused quite an argument, though Adams fell asleep while Franklin orated on the subject of night vapors. (https://prologue.blogs.archives.gov/2012/06/20/in-their-own-words-john-adams-and-ben-franklin-part-i/)

Edited by jeffjerwin
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