M Helsdon

The Vadeli certainly do, though they are the antithesis of Western culture. Brown Vadeli are the commoners; Red Vadeli are soldiers; Blue Vadeli (hopefully extinct) were sorcerers; Yellow Vadeli (extinct) seem to have been the rulers. The immortal Brithini have much the same coloration. Other Westerners seem to have lost to a greater or lesser degree their caste coloration; the Brithini would probably say this denotes their spiritual corruption as most are mortal, and only a few have longer lifespans than the humans descended from the animal peoples...

Starting a third pass, but very slowly. I am increasingly of the opinion that the fact the Theogony should be treated as the God Learner introduction to the subsequent Elemental Pantheons (this may be the intent, but it isn't obvious from the formatting), all the way through to the end of The End of the Gods War chapter, and perhaps beyond. There might also be notes or annotations that the material is not entirely accurate: this gets around some of the blatant falsehoods. The same should hold for many other chapters as well. There's the fact that all of us know considerably more about their world/cosmos than any mortal inhabitant of Glorantha, and that instead of objective out-of-world facts, players and their characters probably need subjective truths - at least from their cultural perspective. Much of the material leans heavily to a Sartarite viewpoint (woe to the Lunars - their magical regiments aren't detailed) so perhaps it should come with a large note that it is an in-world sourcebook instead of a game encyclopedia. For that matter, I recall reading somewhere that the design of the Runes as presented here and elsewhere are God Learner constructs, though widely accepted now. Just a thought.

It is up to individual GMs to decide, but this is a public forum. Of all the Mongoose books, Dara Happa Stirs is the best and closest to canon. The others vary enormously in quality. The penalty for using Mongoose books as canonical here is a trip to Dorastor with one of Ralzakark's avatars as your host... 8-)

Both, at best, dubious God Learner constructs and highly unreliable, in addition to being uncanonical. No Mongoose books are part of canon.

The Urox cult have been alerted...

It isn't finished. Delayed by things such as proofreading The Glorantha Sourcebook. However, it is approaching its maximum page size.

All of the Mortal Lands of Glorantha are effectively a post-apocalyptic landscape. There was a great deal of 'history' before Time, and the current geography was very different in the God Time, and this has left an enormous number of scattered ruins and artefacts, most of which are inexplicable to the modern inhabitants. At the Dawn the ancestors of the Votanki at Arau numbered barely two hundred and fifty, and whoever they had been before, they survived the Great Darkness as hunter-gatherers. The region before Time seems to have been: part of the Solar Empire, drowned under water, covered by glaciers, a troll hunting ground, an Aldryami forest etc.

As a Yelmalion, he was probably a Sairdite. Probably at roughly the same level. Votankiland had a human low population density, so EWF influence was limited in this borderland. Vontankiland was deemed as part of the empire, but probably more as a resource than as a territory. See above. Doubtless some were, as transient mercenaries of the EWF, but not a large presence. Legend says it was built by dwarves. It predates the Second Age, and is possibly a pre-Time relic.

Surface-to-air Rapier 8-)

Not really. There are no absolutes in Glorantha, and even the Guide contains (intentional) contradictions. I know this because I identified and reported some during the review process and was told they wouldn't be changed because they weren't mistakes. Based on my experience of working on other documents, making the changes which are accepted won't be a simple or quick task. We are talking almost as much effort as required to identify and report things (which in my case is around forty hours). Some of the apparent discontinuities can be 'fixed' by making almost all of the Glorantha Sourcebook in-world documents written by Lhankor Mhy, Buserian or Irrippi Ontor sages. Hepherones’ Statement of Magic, The Xeotam Dialogues, The Redline History of the Lunar Empire and The History of Dragon Pass are already in-world documents to a greater or lesser degree, and all appear to contain intentional inaccuracies, based on the subjective perspective of the author. This has advantages: it gives a 'get out of jail free' card when someone complains that the material contradicts another source, it demonstrates that Truth in Glorantha is elusive, and it provides information on the beliefs and bias of the 'author'. The resulting 'rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty' make Glorantha more 'real' than other fantasy worlds.

This is from the Guide, page 81. However, much of the material seems to derive from ancient articles in Wyrms Footnotes, Different Worlds and other places, which are often not easy to find. Of the typos I have detected, at least one or two percent seem to be scanning errors, whilst others are because spellings have changed since the original material was written. Similarly, (for example) the material in the Sourcebook relating to Mostali religions (as previously noted) contradicts material in the Guide because it reflects articles written in the 1980s. Am pleased you are finding errors I didn't because every reviewer looks for and spots slightly different things. I'm in two minds about doing a second pass.

The History of Dragon Pass chapter by Amstalli of Nochet is perhaps intended to be a collection of documents. Page 136: Suggest the introduction ends with a statement along the lines of: In answer to your request, gracious Queen, I have selected a number of scrolls from the shelves of the Great Library, amended and notated as necessary, for your perusal. Page 152: The entries for Hendira and Samastina are very objective. Considering the intended in-world audience suggest: Hendira (1610 to 1622). Born 1580 to House Norinel. Granddaughter of Norina and daughter-in-law of Valinalda. She recklessly sought an alliance with the Lunar Empire after the disappearance of Belintar. At her behest a Lunar Temple was built in our great city and foreign troops marched upon the sacred stones of our streets. Rumor has it that she took a Lunar general as a lover. So offended were the goddesses, the priestesses, and the people that her misrule led to civil war. She was rightfully ejected from the throne in 1622, and died in 1624, aged 44. Samastina (1622 to present). Born 1603 to House Delaeos. Daughter of Marilaina (and great-granddaughter of Imarjira – also the niece of Hendira). By the blessings of Ernalda she was chosen to ascend to the rule of our city, to heal the wounds inflicted by her aunt. She has taken no husband as yet, but her lovers have included Broyan of Whitewall and Argrath of Sartar. Page 163: Suggest at the end something like: Thus are accounted the origins and events of the feud between the realm of Sartar and the Lunar Empire. As my Queen is aware, this struggle reprises the ancient feud between Sun and Storm for the body of the Earth, for the Moon has all but eclipsed the Sun in the North and ever seeks the dominance of the Middle Air. Now the Great Compromise is weakened and the gods are disturbed, even as their agents and agencies contest for the future of the world. Mighty heroes are gathering as ancient powers stir. And behind the scenes we can perhaps perceive the shadowy machinations of other powers best left unnamed. Your faithful servant, Amstalli of Nochet

Page 152: grandaughter - should be - granddaughter Page 153: grandaughter - should be - granddaughter

Page 162: giant’s cradle – might be – Giant’s Cradle [General comment – in other books cradle is given a capital letter.] Page 162: After he received the gift of the Dragon’s Teeth, Argrath defended the giant’s cradle against the Lunars and accompanied it far to sea where he met the Wolf Pirates – suggest - After he received the gift of the Dragon’s Teeth, Argrath defended the giant’s cradle against the Lunars in 1621 and accompanied it far to sea where he met the Wolf Pirates. [The previous paragraph refers to 1626, so either there should be a date here, or the paragraphs should be reordered.] Page 162: Argrath aided the purple people – should be - Argrath aided the Purple People Page 162: the bat-people – should be – the Bat People Page 162: Three-step Isles – should be - Three Step Isles [Usual form is Three Step Islands] Page 163: Yanioth Two-sight – should be - Yanioth Two-Sight – or Page 75 should be in the same format as the name here. Page 163: Onelisin cat-witch – should be - Onelisin Cat-Witch Page 163: Jarolor – should be – Jarolar Page 163: upon the man – might be – upon him Page 164: The Sartar Magical Union was the most extraordinary innovation of Argrath’s - suggest - The Sartar Magical Union was Argrath's most extraordinary innovation Page 164: Each regiments of the Sartar Magical Union - should be - Each regiment of the Sartar Magical Union Page 164: old gods – might be – Old Gods Page 165: down its wyter – should be - down its wyter Page 165: which allowed them to fight trolls – suggest - which allows them to fight trolls Page 166: The Stormwalkers were a mixed band of men and demigods who live at the Old Wind Temple and are devoted to the storm god Orlanth - variations in tense. Should be - The Stormwalkers are a mixed band of men and demigods who live at the Old Wind Temple and are devoted to the storm god Orlanth Page 166: pledged loyalty to Argrath – might be - pledged their loyalty to Argrath Page 166: their participants – possibly – the participants Page 166: through the oversoul of the participants – ‘participants’ just used, suggest - through the wyter of the warlocks Page 166: The Wasps were a species of giant insects – should be - The Wasps are a species of giant insect · A Chronology covering events 1528-1628 would be very useful. · An Index would be very useful. An index seed would require a clean Word version of the document, and, based on experience of KoS, Arcane Lore, etc. would take about thirty hours to generate.

Spending most of my time proofreading the Glorantha Sourcebook. The contents of Rune Wars are now: Contents Introduction 9 Sources 9 Primary Sources 9 Secondary Sources 9 A Note on Terminology 9 Gloranthan Warfare 10 Troop Types 10 Light Infantry 11 Heavy Infantry 11 Light Cavalry 11 Heavy Cavalry 11 Chariots 11 Artillery 11 Vexillae 11 Flier 11 Magical 11 War Dogs 12 Heroes 12 Weapons and Armor 12 Materials 12 Manufacture 13 Attributes 14 Armor 14 Magical Armor 16 Animal Armor 16 Masks 16 Weapons 16 Lottery Swords 17 Shields 18 Runes, Weapons and Shields 19 Helmet and Shield Decoration 20 Unit Organization 20 Militia 20 Training 21 Warband 21 Mercenaries 21 Equipment 21 Training 21 Discipline 22 Terms of Service 22 Regiments 23 The Standard 23 Composition 23 Training 23 Discipline 25 Terms of Service 25 Rates of Pay 25 Regimental Rivalry 26 Warfare 28 Pelorian Warfare 28 Pelanda 29 Dara Happa 29 Alkoth Regiments 31 Carmania 32 Lunar Empire 32 Lunar Colonies 33 Dart Competitions 34 Barbarian Belt 35 Yelmalion Templars 35 The Horse Nations 36 Pentan Warfare 36 Grazelander Warfare 36 Pol-Joni Warfare 36 Orlanthi Warfare 36 Praxian Warfare 38 Duels and Individual Combat 39 The Orlanthi Duel 39 The Humakt Duel 40 The Yanafal Tarnils Duel 40 The Yelmalion Duel 41 Combat Games 41 Gladiatorial Contests 41 Chariot Racing 41 Dara Happan Races 41 Shield Push 42 Treatment of Prisoners 42 The Battlefield 43 Order of Battle 43 Infantry 43 Infantry Formations 43 Shield-wall 43 Phalanx 46 Cavalry 50 The Saddle 51 Riding Animals 51 Cavalry Formations 53 Line 53 Wedge 53 Rhombus 53 The Charge 53 Stand-off Attack 54 Shock Attack 54 Types of Cavalry 54 Cataphracti 54 Lancers 54 Mounted Archers 55 Javelineers 55 Dragoons 55 Fliers 55 The Saddle 55 Flying Animals 55 Orlanthi Fliers 56 Flier Tactics 56 Chariots 56 Vexillae 57 Artillery 57 Types of Artillery 57 War Dogs 58 Heroes 58 Transport and Mobility 60 The Campaign Year 60 Sea Season 60 Fire Season 60 Earth Season 60 Dark Season 61 Storm Season 61 Sacred Time 61 Roads and Warfare 61 Rivers and Warfare 64 Terrain 65 Movement Rates 65 Moon Boats 67 Fortifications and Siege Warfare 69 Siege Weapons 69 Dwarven Weaponry 70 Elementals 70 Magic 71 Fortifications 71 Walls 71 Bastions 76 Towers 76 Posterns 77 Gates 77 Crannogs 79 Giant Defenses 79 Guardian Spirits 79 Magic 80 Temple Defenses 80 Warfare and Religion 82 Magic 82 Wyters and Patron Deities 82 Magical Regiments 82 Lunar Magic 83 The Runes 83 Deities 84 Divine Aspects 84 Divination and Runes 84 War Gods 85 Cavalry Gods 87 Chariot Gods 88 War Gods of the Lunar Empire 88 Hastatus 88 Hon-eel 88 Humakt 88 Hwarin Dalthippa 88 Kastok 89 Polaris, War God 89 Saggitus 89 Shargash, God of Destruction 89 Urvairinus, Army God 90 Yanafal Tarnils 90 Yara Aranis 90 Yelmalio 90 War Gods of Saird 90 War Gods of Tarsh 91 War Gods of Sartar and Heortland 91 Babeester Gor 91 Elmal 91 Humakt 91 Maran Gor 92 Orlanth Adventurous 92 Orlanth Thunderous 92 Urox 92 Vinga 92 Yelmalio 93 War Gods of Esrolia 93 Argan Argar 93 Babeester Gor 93 Humakt 93 The Noble Brothers 93 Orlanth 93 War Gods of Prax 93 Jaldon Toothmaker 93 Storm Bull 93 Waha 94 War Gods of the Horse Nations 94 Golden Bow 94 Kargzant 94 The Four Winds 94 Plates 95 Armies of Central Genertela 100 Lunar Army 100 Organization 101 Command Standards 101 Lunar Headquarters 102 Lunar Army Corps 102 Miscellaneous Titles 103 Lunar Regiment Organization 103 College of Magic 104 Imperial Bodyguard 106 Heartland Corps 106 The Ten Wall Phalanxes 106 Daxdarian Phalanxes 108 Line Regiments 108 Carmania 108 Auxiliaries 109 Eol 109 Hungry Plateau 109 Char-un 109 Lunar Allies 109 Cavalry Corps 110 Provincial Army 110 Provincial Army Organization 110 The Lunar Provinces 111 Sartar Free Army 112 Sartar Regiment Organization 113 Orlanthi Standards 114 Humakt’s Raven Banner 114 Battle Banner of the EWF 115 Sartar Magical Union 115 Sartar Free Army 116 The Sartar Royal Guard 116 Sartar City Militia 116 The Barbarian Horde 116 Independents 116 The Agimori of Prax 116 Beastmen 117 The Black Horse Troop 117 Cragspider and her Allies 117 Dragonewts 117 Giants 118 Grazeland Pony Breeders 118 The Holy Country 118 The God-King’s Armies 118 Calandraland 119 Ditali 119 Esrolia 119 God Forgot 120 Heortland 120 Shadow Plateau 120 The Islands 120 Mercenaries in Pavis 121 The Pol-Joni 121 Praxian Animal Nomads 121 Bison Tribe 122 High Llama Tribe 122 Impala Tribe 122 Rhinoceros Tribe 122 Sable Tribe 122 Unicorn Tribe 122 Zebra Tribe 123 Queendom of Jab 123 Sun Dome Temples 123 Yelmalion Regiments 124 Mo Baustra 125 Vanntar 125 Alda-Chur 126 Tarsh Exiles 126 The Telmori 126 Tusk Riders 127 Hero Wars Army Lists 128 Unit Descriptions 128 Armor 128 Morale 128 Lunar Army List 128 Lunar Headquarters 128 College of Magic 129 Sister’s Army 130 Imperial Bodyguard 130 Heartland Corps 131 Heavy Infantry 131 Light Infantry 133 Cavalry Corps 135 Heavy Cavalry 135 Light Cavalry 137 Chariots 138 Provincial Army 138 Aggar 138 Holay 138 Tarsh 139 Vanch 141 Carmania 141 Sartar Free Army List 141 Sartar Headquarters 141 Sartar Magical Union 142 Sartar Free Army 145 Heavy Cavalry 145 Light Cavalry 146 Heavy Infantry 146 Light Infantry 147 Sartar City Militia 147 Barbarian Horde 148 Independents 150 The Agimori of Prax 150 Beastmen 150 The Black Horse Troop 151 Cragspider and her Allies 152 Delecti 153 Dragonewts 154 The Dwarf of Dwarf Mine 154 Giants 155 Grazeland Pony Breeders 155 Mercenaries in Pavis 157 Queendom of Jab 157 Sun Dome Templars 157 Unicorn Tribe 158 Tarsh Exiles 158 Tusk Riders 159 Appendices 160 Sun Dome Temples 160 The First Age 160 The Second Age 161 The Third Age 163 The Great Harpoon 164 The History of the Harpoon 164 Recent History 164 The Tribes of Sartar 165 Old Hendriki 165 Sword Orlanthi 165 Axe Orlanthi 165 Dark Orlanthi 165 Yelmalio 165 Light Orlanthi 165 Composition of the Sartar Free Army 165 Lunar Regimental Founders 166 Fazzur Wideread, the Greatest General of Glorantha 166 The Seshnelan Army 170 Codes of War 171 Crusades 171 Seshnelan Army List 172 The Kralorelan Army 173 Army and Navy Quality 174 Equivalent Military Ranks 174 General Terminology 174 Military Terminology 176 General 176 Armor 177 Weapons 178

Page 155: Large chunk of material duplicating information already given: Jar-eel is the daughter and Fourth Inspiration of the Red Emperor. She is the living incarnation of the Red Goddess in the material world, just as her ancestress Hon-eel the Artess was. She leads the mystic warrior discipline known as the Moonsword cult, and is worshiped by them in turn. Page 155: rebel gods – should be – Rebel Gods [Usage elsewhere] Page 155: He was reincarnation – should be - He was a reincarnation Page 155: and the emperor – should be - and the Emperor Page 155: its home in Lunar Hell – should be - its home in a Lunar Hell Page 155: who then put his kinsman Tatius the Bright, dean of the Lunar Field School of Magic and leader of the imperial Assiday family, as commander of the siege – should be - who then put his kinsman Tatius the Bright, dean of the Lunar Field School of Magic and leader of the imperial Assiday family, in command of the siege Page 156: When the final Lunar assault came in winter 1621 – should be - When the final Lunar assault came in the winter of 1621 Page 156: Halcyon var Enkoth – in Griffin Mountain - Halcyon Var Enkoth Page 156: and the opportunity to join into the official festival – should be - and the opportunity to join the official festival Page 157: and considerable area beyond – should be - and a considerable area beyond Page 157: After the Battle of Auroch Hills – should be - After the Battle of the Auroch Hills Page 157: spear men – should be – spearmen Page 157: of the Old Earth – should be - of the Old Earth Alliance General: Red Earth – should often be – Red Earth Alliance General: Old Earth – should often be – Old Earth Alliance Page 157: Lunar Army – (several times) is usually Lunar army. Page 158: cooperative remnants of the Holy Country led by King Broyan – might be – cooperative remnants of the Holy Country armies led by King Broyan Page 158: Queen Samastina claims sacral rights not asserted since the Storm Age – this seems out of place in a description of the city and perhaps should be moved to the end of the preceding section. Page 158: after brushing aside the Lunar army at Moonbroth – suggest – after brushing aside the Lunar army in the Second Battle of Moonbroth Page 159: moon-loyal – should be – Moon-loyal Page 159: brightest full stage – should be – brightest full phase Page 159: folks of Orlanth’s Ring – reads oddly; suggest – ten trespassers portraying Orlanth’s Ring Page 160: Empire of Wyrms Friends – should be - Empire of the Wyrms Friends Page 160: Others stars – should be - Other stars Page 160: defensive war in against the King of the Wings – should be - defensive war against the King of the Wings Page 160: despite his jealously – should be - despite his jealousy Page 160: Jadentin the Avenger – in KoS - Jadetin the Avenger Page 160: Reaches Furthest – on page 146 and KoS - Reaches All Page 161: Much of the introductory Kallyr Starbrow duplicates much of the material on page 151. Page 161: son of Jarolor – should be – son of Jarolar Page 161: Short Lightbringers’ Quest – in KoS – Short Lightbringers’ Pilgrimage Page 161: Lightbringers Quest – should be Lightbringers’ Quest [or Pilgrimage?] Page 161: Phargantites – should be - Phargentites Page 161: The Sartarites were outnumbered but held a good position – duplicates previous paragraph Page 161: Leika Blackspear – or - Leika Black Spear [Both appear on this page. I suspect the latter is correct] Page 161: Farandar Red Cow – if this is the major NPC in The Coming Storm his name is Farandar Orendalsson Page 162: devouring scorpions – possibly – devouring scorpion men RESUME at Page 162

This morning's batch. Page 151: Jostisan of Karse – should be - Jotisan of Karse Page 153: were-wolf – should be – werewolf Page 153: Together they had a son and a daughter – according to Page 148 they only had a daughter: With the first, Harsta Orindori, he was the father of Pharandros; with the second, the Feathered Horse Queen, he had a daughter. Page 153: resist the chaos foe – should be - resist the Chaos foe [General comment, probably made before] Page 153: at the Battle of Moonbroth – given when this is being written, might this be - at the First Battle of Moonbroth Page 154: and was made Governor-General – suggest - and he was made Governor-General RESUME at page 155

The original is ambiguous. I couldn't tell what the original wording was saying. I did consider using 'via' instead of 'by' but then decided that didn't sound sufficiently genealogical. After three hours of slogging through the document last night by the end I was starting to get very worn down. Will amend to: Page 152: (great-granddaughter of Bruvala through grandfather) – might be - (great-granddaughter of Bruvala through Bruvala's son, Imarjira's grandfather)

Page 144: animal nomads – should be – Animal Nomads Page 144: Yaandros - should be – Yarandros Page 144: Derik Pol-joni – should be - Derik Pol-Joni Page 144: Sartar of Bullshill, founded – should be – Sartar of Bullshill founded Page 144: Pass’s – based on usage elsewhere should be - Pass’ Page 144: Dwarf Hills – is this the correct name? Page 145: and out of the Grazelanders history – probably - and out of the Grazelanders’ history Page 145: vendref – should be in italics Page 146: and in 1570 – should probably be – and in 1470 Page 146: In 1594 – probably - In 1494 [But see below – may be 1495] Page 146: She died in 1568 – possibly - 1565 Page 146: she became Feathered Horse Queen in 1568 – probably - she became Feathered Horse Queen in 1565 [There seems confusion regarding the end and start dates of the second and third Feathered Horse Queens, which spreads into the section about Sartar.] Page 146: Sartar Ernalsorsson – King of Sartar names his father as Ernalsar, so his name should be - Sartar Ernalsarsson Page 147: In the Sacred Time at the start of 1495, Sartar wed the queen – the previous page says they wed in 1594 – which I believe is really 1494, or maybe two digits have been transposed? Page 147: Dainty princessess - should be - Dainty princesses Page 147: culsists - should be - cultists Page 147: seven hells – possibly – Seven Hells Page 148: Kana-telsor – given in King of Sartar as - Kana-Telsor [Name appears twice here] Page 148: and the fifteen king of Tarsh – should be - and the fifteenth king of Tarsh Page 148: and he is still in office – suggest – and is still on the throne Page 149: The princes of Boldhome continued to rule in the path set by the Founder – almost duplicates a statement on the previous page. Page 149: For the next five years there appeared phantasmal dragonewts – the Dragonewts Dream lasted only two years? Page 149: result of this five-year dream – ditto Page 149: daughter of the the tragic couple - should be - daughter of the tragic couple Page 149: The city, however, was too far to – should be - The city, however, was too far away to Page 150: and the Beast Men – should be - and the Beastmen Page 150: was the new home to the Tarsh Exile – should be - was the new home for the Tarsh Exile Page 150: after a fleet was sunk by the Kralori in 1588 – should be - after a fleet was sunk by the Kralori in 1587 [The news reached the Holy Country in 1588 according to the Guide] Page 151: dinosaur. Salinarg – should be an extra line Page 151: daughter of Onesilin – should be - daughter of Onelisin Page 151: The Holy Country prospered under Belintar guidance – should be - The Holy Country prospered under Belintar’s guidance Page 152: the Malkioni overlords – might be - their Malkioni overlords Page 152: after a fleet was sunk by the Kralori in 1588 – should be - after a fleet was sunk by the Kralori in 1587 Page 152: She had 23 children (8 women, 15 males) – should be - She had 23 children (8 female, 15 male) Page 152: old. Bruva – should be an extra line Page 152: (great-granddaughter of Bruvala through grandfather) – might be - (great-granddaughter of Bruvala through Bruvala's son, Imarjira's grandfather) Page 153: but her lovers included – should be - but her lovers include [She isn’t dead yet…] Page 153: Argrath of Pavis – possibly – Argrath of Sartar RESUME at Page 153

Not much free time today. Hope to continue tonight. Page 142: mostly the race – should be - mostly of the race Page 142: Aldryrami – should be – Aldryami Page 142: was of enough quality – suggest – was of sufficient quality Page 143: Calf-wool Stands – A pre-publication version of the Guide said Calfwool Stands, but the published Guide says Cafol. Page 143: as a conquerer - should be - as a conqueror RESUME at page 144

General: Pass or pass when referring to Dragon Pass (without the Dragon)? Both forms are widely used. Page 111: until she reached the Upper Air – The Guide says the Red Goddess and Orlanth war for control over the Middle Air. Page 133: prevented lessers - ? perhaps – prevented lesser advisors Page 133: Talastar and Sylila – probably okay. Guide says - Lakrene and Sylila Page 133: King Hakon of Talastar – Hakon was king of the Bilini, not all of Talastar. Page 133: and left her bearing his child – should be - which left her bearing his child Page 133: the Empire – usually just – the empire [General comment] Page 133: An attempt by the rebels to take Yuthuppa was defeated in 7/53 (1625) by Jar-eel, but events soon after prevented her from delivering justice to those rebels – suggest – An attempt by the rebels to take Yuthuppa was defeated in 7/53 (1625) by Jar-eel, but events soon after prevented her from delivering justice to them Page 134: Steal Woods – Hendrikiland? Page 134: Battle of Amber Fields – Lunar name for the Battle of the Auroch Hills? It would be useful for an annotation to this effect. Page 134: Battle of Milran – Lunar name for the Battle of Pennel. It would be useful for an annotation to this effect. Page 134: Red-Haired Tribe – should be – Red Hair Tribe Page 135: called the King of Wings – should be - called the King of the Wings Page 135: Lunar Army – usually in this document – Lunar army [General comment] Page 136: Cosmic Compromise that bound the world together – perhaps - Cosmic Compromise that binds the world together Page 136: The text of Cragspider’s Prophecy should be in italics Page 136: with the moonlight radiance of Jar-eel – perhaps - with the moonlit radiance of Jar-eel Page 136: Dragonewt – usually dragonewt [General comment] Page 137: draconic indifference . - should be - draconic indifference. Page 137: hiding in their stronghomes - possibly strongholds? Page 138: of the creature. Creatures included centaurs – suggest - of the creature. They included centaurs Page 138: Ironhoof was born at ths time - should be - Ironhoof was born at this time Page 138: which are made – as one is lost – which were made Page 138: where their interested were involved – should be - where their interests were involved Page 138: Kajak-ab the Braineater – in the Guide - Kajak-Ab Braineater Page 138: Vamargic Eye-Necklace – in the Guide - Vamargic Eye-necklace Page 140: Silve Age – should be – Silver Age Page 140: was fierce intense – perhaps – was fiercely intense Page 140: Thus most Pentants - should be - Thus most Pentans Page 140: animal nomads – should be – Animal Nomads [General comment] Page 140: fight the darkness – should be – fight the Darkness Page 140: was adoped - should be - was adopted Page 140: The Pure Horse poem should be in italics. Page 141: This swordman returned - should be - This swordsman returned [Swordman is his name.] Page 141: turtleshell - possibly - turtle-shell Page 141: These individuals on the Other Side compete for magical powers – suggest - These individuals compete on the Other Side for magical powers Page 141: but strengthened by their participation – should be - but been strengthened by their participation Page 141: their losses at the Dragonkill War – should be - their losses in the Dragonkill War RESUME at Page 142

Page 128: demigods interferred - should be demigods interfered Page 128: 1/49 – should be - 1/49 (1296 S.T.) [Or whatever format is adopted for ST) Page 128: had begotten a special demon – there’s more than one Tax Demon Page 129: Rastar-inning – should be - Rastari-ining [Guide pages 295, 311] Page 129: Syllila - should be – Sylila Page 129: Yanariao-ilart - should be - Yanoriao-ilart? Page 129: Finally, in 6/12 (1529), he was forced to change bodies after an assassin from the Jenet-aror family forced him to evacuate his gross form – This same page and the Guide says: In 6/10 (1527), the Taran-il seized control of First Blessed after a long Dart Competition against the Jenet-aror. The Red Emperor decided that the Taran-il clan proved their lawful title to that the satrapy after the Tax Demons did not touch them despite their usurpation. The Jenet-aror assassinated the Red Emperor but the clan was executed for treason when the Emperor returned. So the 6/12 (1529) should be – 6/10 (1527) Page 129: Palashee Long-Axe – should be – Palashee Longaxe Page 129: Philigos was acclaimed king of Tarsh by the Earthshaker – should be – Palashee was acclaimed king of Tarsh by the Earthshaker Page 130: Fort-Two Candles – should be – Forty-Two Candles Page 130: against this descrecration - should be - against this desecration Page 130: Gbjai Faces - should be Gbaji Faces Page 130: their own satisfication - should be - their own satisfaction Page 130: He had planned back then to come and recover it now – might be - He had planned back then to come and recover them now Page 130: This one survivor was a terrible loss for the barbarians, for it was Phargentes, the heroic younger brother to the murdered Prince – should be - This one survivor was a terrible loss for the barbarians, for it was Phargentes, the heroic younger brother to the murdered King. Page 130: also not clear here when Philigos died – KoS says in the battle, but in this propaganda perhaps at the peace parley? Page 131: Celestine games – should be - Celestine Games Page 131: them. 20 – should be - them.20 Page 131: The Seventh Wane opened to new heights – might be - The Seventh Wane opened with new heights Page 131: and the familes that have the rights - should be and the families that have the rights Page 131: outsife of Raibanth - should be - outside of Raibanth Page 132: Tharkalist familes - should be Tharkalist families Page 132: Valare Addi as an ancestor and they rule the satrapy of Karasal – The Guide says Karasal is ruled by the Rastari-ining family. The Guide does not mention the Valar-telsor family. Page 132: of Sartar, went south – should be - of Sartar went south Page 132: In 7/31 (1602), Jar-eel led the storming of the barbarian citadel – as the date is mentioned several times in close succession this would read better as – She led the storming of the barbarian citadel RESUME at Page 133

I only have about five hours a day to review the document at present, and because of having to check every name that's about twenty pages a day. Hope to have this pass complete towards the end of the week...

General: " should be “ and ” throughout. General: wane – should be – Wane [Note: not universally as wane is not always used as a Lunar Wane] General: demi-god or demigod? Both used in the document. Page 117: constructed a beautiful statue of the Sultaness - Satrapess? In the Guide this text says Conquering Daughter. Page 117: Hwarin-Ong Satrapal clan – the Guide gives: Hwarin-ony clan Page 117: The Sultanate of Sylila – should be - The Satrapy of Sylila Page 117: horse peoples – should be – Horse Peoples Page 118: reinforced Alkoth and helped prevent a second sack of the city – no first sack of Alkoth is mentioned; Yuthuppa was sacked. Page 118: been killed or driven out - should be - been killed or driven out. Page 118: Thunder River – probably – Thunder Delta – but possibly – Oslir River? Page 118: who gained strength – should be – which gained strength Page 118: called Holvburg (entered in 3/29), Starvdyke (3/33), and Norri’s Hill (founded 3/41) – should be - called Holvburg (entered in 3/29, 1384 S.T.), Starvdyke (3/33, 1389 S.T.), and Norri’s Hill (founded 3/41, 1396 S.T.). Page 118: nomads’ to summon – should be - nomads to summon Page 118: The child of this union was named Yara Aranis – Page 103 identifies her mother as Gorgorma - may be the same as the nomads’ Goddess of Tormented Death but if not might be worth mentioning in an introduction the lack of Gloranthan absolutes? Page 118: might mention that Good Shore is also called Vernkor? Page 118: and even caused a quarter of his followers – might be – and she even caused a quarter of his followers Page 118: Lunar front – might be – Lunar border Page 119: Sylila sent a secret army into Alkoth which surprised the nomads there and drove them out – the fall of Alkoth is not mentioned? Page 119: Gardens of Carresh – in the Guide named – Gardens of Karresh Page 120: Mad Sultinate - should be - Mad Sultanate Page 120: passed their way over the Kartolin Pass – should be – crossed over the Kartolin Pass Page 120: ravenkaaz – should be - ravenkaaz Page 120: city of Carantes – should be - city of Karantes Page 121: even the mighty Thunder River – the Oslir River? Page 122: In 5/2 – should be – In 5/2 (1465 S.T.) Page 122: Gambari – should be – Ganbarri Page 122: unlike (say) – suggest just – unlike Page 122: storm god – should be Storm God [General comment] Page 122: floating Staff – should be – floating staff Page 122: Usually, each of the five Gloranthan elemental pantheons is given a day to celebrate their particular rites, and usually in the traditional Order of Creation: darkness, sea, earth, sky, and air – should be - Usually, each of the five Gloranthan Elemental pantheons is given a day to celebrate their particular rites, and usually in the traditional Order of Creation: Darkness, Sea, Earth, Sky, and Air. Page 122: smack of God-learning – should be - smack of God Learning. Page 123: Sacred time – should be – Sacred Time Page 123: daughter of Sandene, a washer woman - Page 120 says he was married to a weaving woman Page 124: Hon-eel is plainly peaceful demigoddess – should be - Hon-eel is plainly a peaceful demigoddess Page 124: In 5/2 (1466) – Guide says 1465 Page 124: future sultanate of Oraya – should be - future satrapy of Oraya Page 124: horse-peoples – should be Horse Peoples Page 125: Godtime - should be - God Time Page 125: hell – should be – Hell [General comment] Page 125: Yelm –- the – should be – Yelm – the Page 125: Prince Phornostes – should be - Prince Phoronestes Page 126: Syndic’s ban in the west – should be – Syndic’s Ban in the west Page 126: Prince Phornostes – should be - Prince Phoronestes – and shouldn’t he be – King Phoronestes Page 127: Closing of the seas – should be – Closing of the Seas Page 127: High Archpriest of Loskalm – should be - High Watcher of Loskalm Page 127: moon boats – should be – Moon Boats Page 127: expanionist policies - should be expansionist policies Page 127: which had just occured - should be - which had just occurred RESUME at page 128

In a response to my question, Rob Heinsoo has indicated that there's about a week to comment on the Gloranthan Sourcebook.