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Glorantha Sourcebook (13th Age)

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Page 70: Time was born in Hell, where the shadows – might be - Time was born in Hell, when the shadows

Page 72: maintaining that Time once began and that it will – should be - maintaining that Time once began will

Page 72: The deities will be more influenced to receive worship on Godsday – might be - The deities will be more influenced by worship received on Godsday.

Page 74: ranks of the lesser dead – might be - ranks of the greater dead

Page 76: from the cult Immortal, Jar-eel – might be - from the Cult Immortal, Jar-eel – or - from the cult immortal, Jar-eel

Page 77: Within his own “city” his will was reality, and all the dragonewts of Dragon Pass obeyed him infallibly. He could be approached and negotiated with, but when bothered for trivial reasons he routinely devoured the petitioners – change tense to -  Within his own “city” his will is reality, and all the dragonewts of Dragon Pass obey him infallibly. He can be approached and negotiated with, but when bothered for trivial reasons he routinely devours the petitioners

Page 79: Embyli – not identified as a color of elf; yellow

Page 79: Many Embyli forests changed when the God War began, and shed their leaves – suggest - Many Embyli forests changed when the God War began, and shed their leaves to become brown elves

Page 81: Individualism, Vegetarianism, Octamonism – Vegetarianism not subsequently mentioned, but Openhandism is. Suggest this should be - Openhandism, Octamonism, Individualism

Page 86: when the dwarf’s – should be – when the dwarves

Page 86: to prophesy – should be – to prophesize

Page 87: burnt and mutated – might be – burnt and mutilated

Page 89: the Battle of Night and Day in 375 – should be - the Battle of Night and Day in 379

Page 89: Sometime around 430, Arkat Humaktson landed in Esrolia – 432 in the Guide

Page 89: superhero – suggest – hero

Page 92: from many civilizations – suggest – of many peoples

Page 92: called Waertagi – suggest - called the Waertagi

Page 92: list of kings – suggest - list of emperors

Page 94: of the foreign cult Gbaji – might be - of the foreign cult of Gbaji

Page 94: discovered, though – should be - discovered, though,

Page 95: Shadowlands – suggest – Dark Esrolia – as that term was used earlier

Page 95: The war against Gbaji had lasted 75 years; now Arkat retired to quiet lands in Ralios which he had admired in his younger days. There he cleared a simple farmstead and kept the area around it under his watchful eye for his other 75 years – the Guide says 50 for the duration of the war and Arkat’s Peace

Page 96: One originated in the far east – is this correct?

Page 98: this time leading the Crimson Bat – suggest - this time riding the Crimson Bat

Page 98: point them out – suggest - points them out

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Gods of the Lunar Way – suggest text box giving the Orlanthi name for the Red Goddess: Shepelkirt

Page 100: with Crescent Go Moon – should be -  with the Crescent Go Moon

Page 100: She insisted on unspeakable things – might be -  She insisted on doing unspeakable things

Page 100: the Dying Moon, - should be - the Dying Moon.

Page 101: Lady of the Wild – might be -  Lady of the Wilds

Page 101: ANILLA – should be -  ANNILLA

Page 101: DANFIVE XARON WAS – should be - DANFIVE XARON was

Page 102: Red Goddess, the Seven Mothers – should be - Red Goddess, and the Seven Mothers

Page 103: Red Emperor has been reborn many times – should be – The Red Emperor has been reborn many times

Page 105: over succession – might be - over the succession

Page 107: stopping it in the late afternoon – might be - stop it in the late afternoon

Page 108: And what of those who loved Her? –should be – And what of those who loved Her?

Page 108: trained to skill – might be - trained in skills

Page 109: shah of Carmania – might be - Shah of Carmania

Page 109: surrendered with it., - should be - surrendered with it.

Page 109: provided magic support – might be - provided magical support

Page 111: City of Rose-Colored Glass – according to the Guide this was destroyed in the Second Age

Page 17: Red Class Tower Joke – possibly a reference to the same place? If so might be – Rose-Colored Glass Tower

Page 112: and provided his superiority in the Lunar Away – should be -  and proved his superiority in the Lunar Way

Page 112: many people and places – suggest – many peoples and places

Page 112: where was taken – should be - where she was taken

Page 113: 1/1 (1248) – Guide says - Between 1/3 and 2/12 (1250-1313), the Lunar Empire pacified its West Reaches during a campaign known as the Blood Kings' War. Lunar dates suspect on this page.

Page 113: against the foes – might be - against their foes

Page 113: The entire Wane was spotted by war – odd wording; suggest - The entire Wane was marred by war

Page 114: 1/54 (1301) – should be - 1/54 (1301).

Page 115: Parg llisi – should be - Parg Ilisi [Occurs four times – noted before in the midst of another comment]

Page 117: once been Human – might be - once been human

Page 119: Pelorian lowland – might be - Pelorian lowlands

Page 120: 4/37 (1445) – Guide says 1445 = 4/36

Page 120: Jords Eye – should be – Jord’s Eye

Page 136: involving even the gods, upset the heavens, and even broken the Cosmic Compromise that bound the world together – suggest - involving even the gods, upset the heavens, and broke the Cosmic Compromise that binds the world together.

Page 136: moonlight radiance – might be - moonlit radiance

Page 136: much better condition than the – might be -  much better condition than in the

Page 137: Inside dissension and outside enemies – suggest -  Interior dissension and exterior enemies

General: dragonewt or Dragonewt?

Page 138: Karastand - [four times] but on page 90: Karastrand. Suspect usage on page 90 is in error.

 

[Checking Lunar dating gives me a headache which is why I jumped forward!]

Edited by M Helsdon
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Page 131: Kedevi – city not mentioned in the Guide. Is the name correct?

Page 132: until 7/31 (1602).  In 7/30 (1602) – The former date is correct. Suspect that – 7/30 (1602) – should be – 7/30 (1601) – or – 7/31 (1602) – in which case providing the date again is redundant. In fact, the 7/31 (1602) date is perhaps restated too many times in this section.

Page 133: He temple was opened in Glamour – should be - Her temple was opened in Glamour

Page 133: 7/53 (1625) – should be - 7/53 (1624) - ?

Page 134: great planet in the sky – might be - great moon in the sky

Page 134: Governor-General of the South – true, but might be - Governor-General of Dragon Pass

Page 135: 1625 – the Guide says in 1625, Dranz Goloi leads his nomad horde upon the eastern Lunar Empire for pillage and ruin, conquering Oraya Satrapy and threatening Blessed Torang itself. These events aren’t mentioned here, except him being pushed back from Torang in 1626. Lunar propaganda?

Page 139: Fear of the Only Old One maintained its – might be -  Fear of the Only Old One maintained his

Page 140: cow goddess – might be – Cow Goddess

Page 140: animal nomads – (twice) should be – Animal Nomads

Page 140: migration in the wastes – might be - migration into the wastes

Page 140: maintained the customs and tribe among – should be - maintained their customs and tribe among

Page 140: Battle of Alavan Argary – should be - Battle of Alavan Argay

Page 143: The tribes engaged in sporadic warfare and constant personal challenges between chieftains. Even within a single tribe there was challenge and battle, and sometimes younger sons broke away from the greater tribe, beginning a separate clan of their own, as the Lismelder tribe did when it deserted the Malani – this duplicates material on page 142 almost word for word.

Page 144: find the power and peaceful Pure Horse People – should be - find the powerful and peaceful Pure Horse People

Page 146: Yorastina – three times, should be - Yoristina

Page 146: king of Grazers – might be - king of the Grazers

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Page 113: wane – might be – Wane

Page 117: wane – might be – Wane

Page 120: In 4/53 (1462) the treaty did not last long, and war quickly raged again – suggest - The treaty did not last long, and war quickly raged again in 4/53 (1462)

Page 121: the Lunar way – should be - the Lunar Way

Page 122: wane – (twice) might be – Wane

Page 122: In 5/2 – might be - In 5/2 (1465)

Page 123: The Sacred time before the dawn – should be - The Sacred Time before the dawn

Page 123: In 4/52 (1461) Hon-eel was 14 years old – does not match the earlier statement - Hon-eel had been born 18 years earlier in 4/36 (1445) – she was 16 in 1461?

Page 123: since the dawn of Time – might be - since the Dawn of Time

Page 123: In 5/2 (1466) aged 19 – should be - In 5/2 (1465) aged 20

 

        [Created this table to check Lunar dates… Of course the cited Lunar dates might be in error instead. Tables are included to show my assumptions.]

 

 

 

Age

4/36

1445

 

4/37

1446

1

4/38

1447

2

4/39

1448

3

4/40

1449

4

4/41

1450

5

4/42

1451

6

4/43

1452

7

4/44

1453

8

4/45

1454

9

4/46

1455

10

4/47

1456

11

4/48

1457

12

4/49

1458

13

4/50

1459

14

4/51

1460

15

4/52

1461

16

4/53

1462

17

4/54

1463

18

5/1

1464

19

5/2

1465

20

5/3

1466

21

5/4

1467

22

5/5

1468

23

5/6

1469

24

5/7

1470

25

5/8

1471

 

5/9

1472

 

5/10

1473

 

5/11

1474

 

5/12

1475

 

5/13

1476

 

5/14

1477

 

5/15

1478

 

5/16

1479

 

5/17

1480

 

5/18

1481

 

5/19

1482

 

5/20

1483

 

5/21

1484

 

5/22

1485

 

5/23

1486

 

5/24

1487

 

5/25

1488

 

5/26

1489

 

5/27

1490

 

5/28

1491

 

 

 

Page 124: In 5/7 (1471), aged 24 – should be - In 5/7 (1470), aged 25

Page 124: In 5/2 (1466) after the Battle of Iron Fences – Guide says battle was in 5/2 (1465), should be - In 5/2 (1465) after the Battle of Iron Fences

Page 125: “I am Daylight.” – should be - “I am Twilight.”

Page 126: each three years – Guide says annually

Page 126: called the Red Tribe by the nomads – should be -  called the Red Hair Tribe by the nomads

Page 126: wane – (twice) might be – Wane

Page 129: two of the three clan – should be - two of the three clans

Page 130: as rightful king of the barbarian Kingdom of Tarsh – might be -  as rightful kings of the barbarian Kingdom of Tarsh

Page 130: Black Horse Country – should be -  Black Horse County

Page 131: 6/47 (1562) – and - 6/49 (1566) – both cannot be correct… should be – 6/47 (1564) [If the Lunar date is correct]

 

6/47

1564

6/48

1565

6/49

1566

6/50

1567

6/51

1568

6/52

1569

6/53

1570

6/54

1571

7/1

1572

 

 

End of Third Pass.

 

This concludes my proofreading exercise. There will be other errors, but there’s a point of diminishing returns where an individual reader won’t notice more without considerable effort.

 

A document of this size and complexity requires at least three or four proofreaders to have a chance of identifying all errors. The creation of an Index Seed will capture variations in names; Lunar dates need other eyes to check them – I have attempted to check all instances but cannot guarantee all problems have been identified or that all problems raised are actually problems…

 

Sets of pages have been read out of order this pass to counter the tendency to ‘speed up’ towards the end. There’s an inevitable inclination to lose concentration towards the end of a chapter or book, so reading pages out of order serves to limit this. Comparing the first, second and third pass comments also illustrates that when one error is found it tends to lower the probability of detecting errors nearby: multiple readings often find a slightly different subset of problems; where the same bug has been found in each pass there’s been an attempt to avoid duplication in reporting.

Edited by M Helsdon
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4 hours ago, M Helsdon said:

End of Third Pass.

Extraordinary work.  Clearly a Lhankor Mhy Rune Priest's Heroquest !!!

<bow of deepest respect and appreciation>

Lemme know if you're ever in the San Francisco Bay region (or on the coast just North of there):  I want to buy you a brew, or a cup of our amazing local chowder... get you something more substantive than mere praise...

 

Edited by g33k
typo's. oh, the shame...
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13 hours ago, g33k said:

Lemme know if you're ever in the San Francisco Bay region (or on the coast just North of there):  I want to buy you a brew, or a cup of our amazing local chowder... get you something more substantive than mere praise...

Thank you, for the offer, but I'm unlikely to get there in the foreseeable future (I'm in the UK).

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Forgive if repeated before: without an updated manuscript it is challenging to see if things have already been mentioned:

Page 89 "He led a crusade for 75 years by the strength of his might and magic." Suggest "He led a crusade for 50 years by the strength of his might and magic." as per the Guide page 130

-- Martin has already picked up on the repeat error on page 95

 

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And these edits are all in. At least those that are not intentional edits. Thank you all so much for this herculean task.

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2 minutes ago, Jeff said:

And these edits are all in. At least those that are not intentional edits. Thank you all so much for this herculean task.

Does this mean the MSS is now in layout? All art done? Here's hoping!

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On 12/23/2016 at 4:36 AM, M Helsdon said:

 

This concludes my proofreading exercise. There will be other errors, but there’s a point of diminishing returns where an individual reader won’t notice more without considerable effort.

 

A document of this size and complexity requires at least three or four proofreaders to have a chance of identifying all errors. The creation of an Index Seed will capture variations in names; Lunar dates need other eyes to check them – I have attempted to check all instances but cannot guarantee all problems have been identified or that all problems raised are actually problems…

 

Sets of pages have been read out of order this pass to counter the tendency to ‘speed up’ towards the end. There’s an inevitable inclination to lose concentration towards the end of a chapter or book, so reading pages out of order serves to limit this. Comparing the first, second and third pass comments also illustrates that when one error is found it tends to lower the probability of detecting errors nearby: multiple readings often find a slightly different subset of problems; where the same bug has been found in each pass there’s been an attempt to avoid duplication in reporting.

Martin,

What an awesome achievement! I cannot thank you enough, I and, I suspect, many others will benefit from your efforts.

Charles

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15 hours ago, Charles said:

What an awesome achievement! I cannot thank you enough, I and, I suspect, many others will benefit from your efforts.

Hi Charles, jongjom also reviewed the document; only a few of our comments overlap, so I hope other eyes have been employed as well. No individual, or pair of individuals can find everything in a document of this complexity and size!

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26 minutes ago, HorusArisen said:

So just to confirm this will be a system neutral sourcebook?

Yes

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