Your Dumbest Theory

[FungusColombicus]

15 hours ago, Richard S. said:

Argrath ends up giving Arkat the unhealable wound when they meet each other in the nonlinearness of the deep hero plane.

That is actually the real “initiation” of both Arkat and Argrath.

[g33k]

2 hours ago, Eff said:

Let's get dumber. Each Arkat incarkatnation carries with him a local distortion of reality in relation to his title. Get too close to Arkat Liberator and you find yourself in costumes from old BBC Robin Hood productions, running through semi-abandoned British industrial centers, and everyone is talking about "Servalan" and the "Federation" (just whose federation it is seems to change). Spend long in the presence of Arkat the Deceiver, and all faces look like masks, ready for you to pull them off. Spend too long in the presence of Arkat Chaosbane and, horribly, you start to mutate into a Storm Bully...

n.b.  the Crimson Bat's "Glow Spot" aura...
Sorry, Eff... your theory appears to have an insufficiency of dumbness for this thread...

 

[Joerg]

On 10/8/2021 at 6:59 PM, Akhôrahil said:

As are the four others.

But unlike what they want you to believe, he’s The Destroyer, not The Liberator (the comic all but states this). Which explains a lot, actually.

He is going to be Arkat, and Arkat is coming back as the Destroyer... Belintar didn't get the identification right the firstt time, when he thought it was Harrek who came as Arkat. Harrek only came as the Destroyer, but that only in combination with the Red Woman.

As for identity challenges, all will come up with the message "Deceiver", I fear.

[scott-martin]

Elsewhere . . . 

1 hour ago, Joerg said:

Whereas Orlanth's initiation has him pushed into the pit of Strangers, which he escapes by communicating and bargaining with the other inmates.

I have a DUMB THEORY that there was once at least one culture that believed that Orlanth's father was actually Larnste, making him the rowdy brother of the otherwise urbane great god of the deal. The business with Umath may have been an evil stepfather situation or just their real dad on a bad week. When dad died, the cults retained different versions of their parentage and so naturally evolved to conform to the standard lightbringer relationship we all know.

And that there was at least one more culture that identified Issaries' rowdy brother with HMKT until the introduction of an intermediary storm god from elsewhere upset the binary and forced a realignment of characteristics. This forced "division of war from peace" or winter and summer is then further garbled as the birth of Umath pushing sophisticated sky and crude earth apart in order to open up an exciting new space in between.

And finally there was a culture or maybe even just a crazed religious visionary who believed that Issaries was Orlanth's real "father," or more accurately but more vague, that Issaries is to Orlanth as Asrelia is to Ernalda: a senior cult role that young fathers age into when they get a little slower on the way to the grave.

In this "six winds model" you could have widdershins shadow gods to fill in . . . the shadow of Issaries here is Umath or even archaic Jagekriand, death father who shows up when good dad leaves the building, the opposite of Superman never being where Clark Kent is visible.

Edited October 10, 2021 by scott-martin

[Orlanthatemyhamster]

On 9/18/2021 at 11:05 AM, Akhôrahil said:

Used to have an outie, now she has an innie.

Ouch! That would hurt so much.

[Akhôrahil]

On 10/10/2021 at 7:28 PM, scott-martin said:

Elsewhere . . . 

I have a DUMB THEORY that there was once at least one culture that believed that Orlanth's father was actually Larnste, making him the rowdy brother of the otherwise urbane great god of the deal.

Let's work with this. It's often been noted that Orlanth Adventurous and Orlanth Thunderous seem like two different cults that have been incompletely banged into one. Perhaps Larnste is the father of OA (the Movement Rune is big with OA, after all) and Umath of OT (the more Storm-centric one)?

Edited October 15, 2021 by Akhôrahil

[Orlanthatemyhamster]

The delay in the sale of the the Starter Set is not due to Brexit, but Boggles.

[Ali the Helering]

1 hour ago, Orlanthatemyhamster said:

The delay in the sale of the the Starter Set is not due to Brexit, but Boggles.

Both are foul creatures of malign forces

[Orlanthatemyhamster]

4 minutes ago, Ali the Helering said:

Both are foul creatures of malign forces

I would definitely prefer the Boggles.

[JonL]

12 hours ago, Ali the Helering said:

Both are foul creatures of malign forces

Sure, but at least the Boggles voted Remain.

[simonh]

4 hours ago, JonL said:

Sure, but at least the Boggles voted Remain.

That's what they told you. 😀

[AlHazred]

The Boggles were the ones Googling "What is the European Union?" immediately after the vote.

[scott-martin]

On 10/15/2021 at 7:08 AM, Akhôrahil said:

Let's work with this. It's often been noted that Orlanth Adventurous and Orlanth Thunderous seem like two different cults that have been incompletely banged into one. Perhaps Larnste is the father of OA (the Movement Rune is big with OA, after all) and Umath of OT (the more Storm-centric one)?

I love this so much that it got bumped up to the "real" personal development burner and so will take more work to comment effectively.

However in my dumbness I also now believe that the morokanth diet is a heroquest artifact much like Monrogh's revelation, establishing a new mostly functional mythical status quo but leaving a lot of confusion, recrimination and ontological driftwood in its wake. 

In fact, they might even be tied together in a kind of cosmic balance, the tapir people get to be eaters for awhile and little sun recovers his fire . . . when one adjustment breaks down so does the other much as day destroys the night and night divides the day. Try to run, try to hide.

[scott-martin]

For all you Fourth Age types: 

Since sorcery requires literacy, the Illiteracy Era may actually be apocalyptic blowback from Western Hero War developments playing out mostly off camera as far as Dragon Pass chroniclers were concerned. The beards may be forced to make surprising choices.

[Sir_Godspeed]

3 hours ago, scott-martin said:

For all you Fourth Age types: 

Since sorcery requires literacy, the Illiteracy Era may actually be apocalyptic blowback from Western Hero War developments playing out mostly off camera as far as Dragon Pass chroniclers were concerned. The beards may be forced to make surprising choices.

Zzabur is finally tired of these lesser simulacrums of true people running around using scraps from his writings to cause a ruckus. He decides to delete the Word Processor from the operating system.

[Eff]

6 hours ago, scott-martin said:

For all you Fourth Age types: 

Since sorcery requires literacy, the Illiteracy Era may actually be apocalyptic blowback from Western Hero War developments playing out mostly off camera as far as Dragon Pass chroniclers were concerned. The beards may be forced to make surprising choices.

 

 

Let's see... recently I've been collaboratively exploring the more southerly parts of Esrolia. So here's a wild theory, related to that: Porthomeka and the Ditali are being used as lures. They've been baited on the Esrolian fishing line and are being waved back and forth to pull in Caladralanders and Wenelians into becoming Esrolianized. Longsi Land is a remnant of this process being used to pull in Heortlanders, and the Kimantorings are of course an even older remnant. There may in turn be some efforts to try and bring the Feathered Horse Queen in on this game, but perhaps she's already a player in it...

The real question: what would the snare be for God Forgot?

[jajagappa]

11 hours ago, Eff said:

what would the snare be for God Forgot?

Dwarf Lore and technology from Gemborg?

The remnants of the God-king's Final Information Library now in Nochet?

The refugees from Nolos arriving in Esrolia?

[French Desperate WindChild]

there is a secret known only by the wiser tusk riders shamans.

When Ernalda the mother wanted to protect her wild pigs, she asked volunteers among the human to take care of them.

Unfortunatly few years later, a disease killed everyone except three babies : Gouger, Aram and the last one was unamed because his parents died too early.

Ernalda wanted to protect these babies, after all their parents left their good life for her.

She sent a gnome to find a baby sitter, of course who could be better than a baby sitter to protect three babies ?

But the gnome didn't understand exactly what its queen wanted. It did not understood what meant baby sitter and believed the earth goddess pronounced her daughter's name.

Of course who could be better than Babeester to protect the earth people ?

But Babeester the baby sitter had no milk and she really wanted the three babies to have a good health, so she went to Healing Valley, she did not get milk but fortunately, after some axe bargain,  gave them a better red drink.

She was tired and she fell asleep. At this moment the trickster appeared and make some jokes... and the human babies from the wild pigs clan were not exactly human any more...

But they survived and the tusk riders were educated and fed, generation after generation, following the education and the diet from the first bab' s'ter

[Ironwall]

The seven mothers didn't resurrect the moon but the moons unborn child by umath who took her mother's place

[Sir_Godspeed]

6 hours ago, Ironwall said:

The seven mothers didn't resurrect the moon but the moons unborn child by umath who took her mother's place

That's... that also explains why she has legitimate claims to ruling over the Middle Air!

Edited October 29, 2021 by Sir_Godspeed

[dumuzid]

Based almost exclusively on the write-up of Fralos, Seshnela in the Guide I posit that lions are the favored cult animal of Artmal, and the Artmali have kin ties to the big cat hsunchen peoples.

[Ironwall]

7 hours ago, Sir_Godspeed said:

That's... that also explains why she has legitimate claims to ruling over the Middle Air!

Now that you point that out it doesn't sound as dumb as it did in my head

[dumuzid]

Sharks are the offspring of Zorak Zoran and Varchulanga, one result of the myth 'Zorak Zoran Learns to Swim'

[Monty Lovering]

My theory is that Glorantha is actually a massive online multiplayer rpg game

On 6/8/2020 at 4:43 PM, HierophantX said:

My interpretation of Glorantha is that it’s all a simulation possibly run by dragons (or beings so advanced -like computer programmers- that the little progs in the machine can only understand them as dragons) and the Godlearner secret is that it’s all a game and they learned the code behind the Matrix.

Kinda like my one:

PCs are NPCs in a massive multiplayer online game in the future where NPCs have AI. Illumination is realising this.

[litrevan]

Creating a split octahedron with rotated squares in the middle, and assigning each edge to a rune for all the relations. I keep getting stuck for some odd reason.